Absolutely Fabulous in Alabama

Macy's Online Beauty GWP's Going on Now!!!

2010-04-27T08:02:00.000-07:00

Laura Mercier online only GWP at Macy's: 5 piece set with any $75 LM purchase. Cosmetic bag, mini lipstick, mini primer, mini face polish, deluxe almond coconut scrub.

Lancome GWP online only at Macy's: 5 piece set with any $50 Lancome purchase. Lipstick, Juicy Tube, Magnifique Parfum mini, Absolue Eye Cream, Absoluue Face Cream.

Philosophy online only GWP at Macy's: with any $75 Philosophy purchase receive a shower gel/bubble bath/shampoo in three scents, Amazing Grace, Inner Grace, and Pure Grace.

Online Makeup Freebies:)

2010-04-27T07:47:00.000-07:00

Both of my loves, Sephora and Ulta, are having some additional fun freebies for online orders going on right now. At www.sephora.com, online only (quantities limited), they are offering a fragrance mini to and order placed by a Beauty Insider (you are a Beauty Insider, right???). CODE: SPRITZME. Your choices of fragrance are: Marc Jacobs Daisy, Dior J'adore, Bvlgari BLV Eau de Parfum II, and, last but not least, Clean Ultimate. We'll always take a free fragrance sample, right ladies??!!

Here's something really exciting from Ulta! Like I said a few posts ago, they just keep throwing freebies at us with an online purchase!!! In addition to all of the other freebies and goodies going on right now (!), you can receive a free full-size ULTA brand eye shadow with any $25 online purchase! It's getting cheaper and cheaper to get Mom tons of goodies!! Not sure if you get to choose your color but the one pictured is pretty enough.

Remember, Mother's Day is May 9th!!

ULTA for Mother's Day!!

2010-04-25T10:10:00.000-07:00

I used to be a Sephora snob but Ulta is really growing on me. As I realize more and more that I don't have unlimited funds to spend on beauty and skincare I really appreciate the ridiculous deals that Ulta seems to be having all the time!! Here's what's going on now:

- Free Shipping online for orders over $25, CODE 53558
- Buy one Get one free on all Ulta brand cosmetics, minerals, implements, and beauty tools
- $3.50 off any purchase of $10.00 or more, CODE 40002
- three free samples with every online order
- through May 9th, receive a free Hampton tote with any fragrance purchase of $30 or more (and really, none of us should be wearing fragrances that cost less than this...NO Brittany Spears people!)

So use those bargains and get your Mom something fabulous for Mother's Day, May 9th...DON'T FORGET!!

I know QVC says it all the time but if your Mom likes fragrances, Philosophy really does make some nice ones. I would assume that the Philosophy fragrances are included in the free tote promotion so why not get your Mom an Amazing Grace set, get the free tote, and load it up with buy one get one Ulta brand goodies. What about several nail polishes and every thing she would need for a mani/pedi? Toe separators, nail file, cuticle oil, clippers, foot soak, hand lotion...sounds like a sweet and thoughtful gift to me!!

Savings, Savings, Savings!!!!!!

2010-04-07T13:32:00.000-07:00

I am so excited because I saved uber cash at CVS today. I needed some Zyrtec (thank you pollen) and got the CVS brand for $12.99 with $5 Extra Care Bucks back. When that receipt printed out, in addition to my $5 ECB, I had $23.50 built up that print out...SCORE!!! So I did another transaction and bought some vitamins we needed. They were buy one get one free so I bought the value size of two different kinds, 2 free = 4 giant bottles of vitamins. When I combined all my extra care bucks with the buy one get one free, I ended up getting $54 worth of vitamins for $0.74. Yes, that's right, seventy-four cents. I'd like to take this opportunity to thank CVS for their generosity:)

Sephora Skincare Challange

2010-03-27T07:44:00.000-07:00

If you haven't figured it out, I am obsessed with great skin and I encourage all of you to be too! If we take care of our skin while we're younger (and we're always younger than someone!!) we will have better skin for longer and save money in the long run on all that expensive Botox and plastic surgery:)

Sephora is now having a Skincare Challenge that looks fun, plus you get some awesome freebies and, most importantly, a great skincare regimen will be custom fit for you! Here's how it works: 1) shop skincare, 2) receive one credit for every facial skincare item you buy, 3) get a featured reward product for every four credits you earn!! Scroll down from the link on the page to see the skincare consultation.

I'm going to do the consultation for myself, just for kicks:) 1) What is your skin type? Normal/Combination and Sensitive; 2) What are your skin concerns? I would like to clear up blemishes and even skin tone on my face. For my eyes I would like to brighten dark circles and reduce puffiness. Hmm, those are all the question they ask, not very thorough but let's see what they recommend for my regime.

Cleansers: Kate Sommerville Gentle Daily Wash (I don't know who that is so no), Kinerase Gentle Daily Cleanser (score, Kinerase is great, Courtney Cox told me so!), DDF Sensitive Skin Cleansing Gel (whatever, DDF is fine). Considering that all my recommendations were gentle formulas, and considering what I know about gentle formulas, that they contain few ingredients so they won't irritate skin, I think I'll stick to my CeraVe Cleanser. moving on...moisturizers: AAHHH!! we skipped daily exfoliation!!! Anyway, here are the recs for me: Kate Sommerville Nourish Daily Moisturizer (KS must be sponsoring this Skincare Challenge!!), and really a bunch of other moisturizers that don't look particularly interesting or helpful. Again, I'll stick with what I use everyday...Lancome Bienfait w/SPF. They do recommend daily sun protection, a must, but I am too lazy to have more steps than necessary so I'll just get that from my moisturizer thank you very much. They offer some skincare sets which would be a great way to go if you don't have a skincare regimen at all but I don't need that. Blemish treatments...check, although, daily exfoliation can usually take care of this if you just have occasional blemishes. My eye cream recs look good except none of them contain SPF which I always want in a day eye cream (I love Shiseido for this!!). A few of my eye recs are the Murad Lighten and Brighten Eye Treatment (I've enjoyed Murad before so would consider this) and the Peter Thomas Roth Power K Eye Rescue (this s*** is $100 so it better be made of gold flakes and instantly make my entire face look just like Nicole Kidman).

Overall opinion of the skincare consultation...great if you do not have a skincare regime or are not happy with any of your current products. I always like to get ideas on new products that might be better than what I'm using but only asking two questions about my skin makes it very difficult to customize a regime particularly for me.

OK, now to the god stuff, the free reward. By the by, purchasing at least 3 skincare products there is basically no way you won't go over the $50 to get free shipping. Also, don't forget that you get three free tiny (crappy) samples with every online order. Also, remember that as you earn Beauty Insider Rewards Points you get nice, deluxe samples (not crappy). Wow, Sephora is giving me so much free stuff I haven't even gotten to the Skincare Challenge free reward yet!! OK, here it is. I don't know if people get different choices but here are mine: Bliss Fabulous Foaming Face Wash 6.6 oz., Murad Active Radiance Serum, Korres Wild Rose 24 hour moisturizer SPF 6 (why bother with that SPF?), and Philosophy Hope in a Jar. I am liking these choices. I would choose the Philosophy. I have used Hope in a Jar and it's a great moisturizer and provides very gentle continuous exfoliation which is the key to it being awesome, I think. However, no SPF. That means an extra step for me and that means no go. Maybe at night though, I'll consider it.

To continue Sephora throwing free s*** at you (it's not really s***, it's actually tremendously fun and exciting stuff!!) when you order ANYTHING put in code 10FREE at checkout and receive a Skincare Challenge Sample Bag with 10 skincare samples. Another great way to try some different products without commitment!! The only requirement is that you be a Beauty Insider, which I think should be a prerequisite for reading my blog anyway.

Go order from Sephora now!! It's like they are paying you in free stuff to shop from them...LOVE IT!!!!!!! Thanks Sephora for making my Saturday, and my skin, a little brighter!!

Best GWP's Going On Now

2010-03-19T01:53:00.001-07:00

www.macys.com (online only) - Laura Mercier 5 piece gift with any $75 LM purchase

Belk and www.belk.com - Lancome GWP with any $32.50 Lancome purchase. This one is fun because you can choose between two sets of products for your gift, one focusing on skincare and the other on makeup! Which ever gift you choose you are walking away with 6 or 7 pieces...SCORE!

Nordstrom and www.nordstrom.com - interestingly, Lancome is having a gift at two stores at once. I would hypothesize that there are not Nordstrom and Belk in the same geographic region but that just my guess. With this gift too you get to choose between two gifts with any $35 Lancome purchase. IDEA: if you need two Lancome items in the price range, why not order one from Belk and one from Nordstrom....two different free gifts!! Also, if you spend $65 you also get a three piece travel brush set!

www.beauty.com - with any $40 Pop Beauty purchase you get a precious three drawer make-up cabinet with 12 eye shadows, 6 lip colors, and 4 cheek colors. Plus, the box is pink, I think we will all be getting this one:). In even better news from beauty.com, spend $100 and get an adorable train case filled with deluxe free samples and free shipping!!! I was going to be pissed when I figured this one out because I just spent a small fortune on Shiseido and the best I could do was order from Sephora for a few freebies. However, I also just figured out that beauty.com doesn't carry any of the products that I ordered to, whew!

www.ecosmeticworld.com - Clinique bonus with any $21.50 Clinique purchase. Pretty standard Clinique gift but it definitely beats going to your local counter and getting no extras:) ENDS MARCH 21. Also in the Clinique world, GWP at www.boscovs.com. This one is kind of cool in that is contains two bronzing items, yum. Again, if you need two Clinique items, order one from each place for twice the fun!! This is the same bonus that Dillard's is having right now...ending the 22nd.

Several of these are ending on the 21st or the 22nd so you better go on it!!

Even if you don't want all of the items in your free gift I have found that these pieces can serve as deal makers on Makeup Alley!

Smart(er) Makeup Shopping

2010-03-19T01:13:00.000-07:00

In these difficult economic times (I had to use that phrase!) we all have to be smarter about our money. I've heard it said that cosmetics is one thing that is not hurt too badly during a recession but I beg to differ. Yes, people can go buy an item or two of prestige or what seems like only a few dollars but my hypothesis is that people instead go buy more items for the same amount of money at the drugstore (gasp!). I recently read on Yahoo in an article about saving money that a great way to do so is to use drugstore cosmetics. The article said that most of it is made in the same factories with the same ingredients as prestige brands, implying that it is the same thing. Well, here's a news flash for you, it's not! Let's take the example of Lancome and L'Oreal. Does the L'oreal own Lancome? Yes. Do they share product information? Yes Do they share certain common ingredients? Yes. Are you paying twice as much at the department store for Lancome when you could be getting the same thing at CVS for mere pennies? NO!

Here's why...drugstore brand makeup is much less pigmented meaning you need more of it to get the same-ish look. You're using more, no savings there plus, if you are using say, more eye shadow, it is more likely to crease and look nasty, so just don't do it. Secondly, re: skincare...yes, drugstore brands can claim this or that fancy sounding ingredient all they want but the fact is that it is cheaper because there is less of the active ingredient(s) in it. You really are paying for what you get. Just like with the eye shadow, you will have to use more to get the same-ish effect and, with skincare, it will take MUCH longer to see results and the results will, most likely, be more subtle than if you were paying for a prestige brand. I'm not going in to the $300 moisturizer v. the $70 prestige one, you can decide what you can afford yourself:)

Even though that section of the article was clearly hallucinatory, there was another suggestion that was great. I made it on here (kind of) months ago. Makeup swaps!!! The article I was reading suggested setting up a makeup swap with your friends to trade. But why trade with five or six people when you could trade with thousands of friends (read: complete strangers) on a site like www.makeupalley.com? I have been trading on MUA for several months now and it has been a blast. I really should add up the $ of everything I've swapped for but that just probably isn't going to happen:) Here are a few of the things I've gotten though (all for the price of postage - cheap - and while getting rid of crap I don't use or want): Brand new - Diorshow mascara, NARS lip glosses (3), Clinique Lip Pencil, Stila Lipglaze, Stila eyeshadow palette, Frederick Fekkai Smoothing Cream, Redken Overnight Treat, and Clarins Body Scrub; and slightly used (but I cleaned and sanitized the hell out of them): five or six fragrances I wanted to try, MAC lip pencils, Benefit blushes, Chanel lip liner, and Shiseido White Lucent Cream. And those are just the things I'm thinking of off the top of my head!! Try it!!

Another smart makeup shopping tip that I also think is fun is to remember that the best deal on your prestige cosmetics is usually not going to be at your local department store. Prestige brands rotate their GWP's across the country and higher end stores (Saks, Bergdorff Goodman) have nicer GWP's with more items worth more $ than lower end retailers (Belk). Considering this, most of the time, some national retailer is going to be having a GWP on the major prestige brands. If you are in the market for a Estee Lauder moisturizer, spend two minutes online and google "Estee Lauder free gift" or "Estee Lauder bonus." You'll quickly see which stores are having GWP's and what they are. If I used EL, which I don't, and saw that Neiman Marcus was having a GWP and my store wasn't, obviously it is a better deal for me to order my items from NM online. #1 I get the GWP, #2 since there isn't a NM in AL I get no tax, #3 most department store retailers have free shipping offers if you spend a certain amount going on almost all of the time and, if not, if you're getting out of tax you're probably doing better if at least not breaking even.

If you can't find a GWP, which I know is v. disappointing, most of the time, depending on how much you're spending, you will come out better shopping online at www.beauty.com, www.sephora.com, or www.ulta.com. All of these sites give free samples with every order and also have GWP-ish items for different brands almost all the time. Free shipping over $50 usually and, if there isn't a store in your state, you get no tax as well. So, if I want to buy the Benefit Laugh With Me LeeLee fragrance and the Smashbox blush in Sugarbomb (which it just so happens I do) and I can't find a GWP online, I am going to come out much better ordering those items from Sephora, where at least I will get three free samples (and add to my frequent spenders account that you can redeem for free products) than going to the local department store and picking them up.

Low (er) Carb Diet

2010-03-06T09:43:00.000-08:00

This past week I have embarked on a lower carb diet (thanks Meagan!). I have previously done Atkin's and South Beach hardcore and lost tons of weight and thought they were so much easier than Weight Watcher's (I don't have time for all that counting mess!). FYI...I have been continuously thinking about my weight for the last, um, at least two decades, so this is not some new thought process going on here.

While having lunch with a friend she was mentioning another friend who did low carb 6 days a week then chose one day to eat whatever the crap they wanted. This really clicked with me and reminded me how well low carb eating had done for me in the past so I got right on it. For those of you familiar, I am doing a version (my own) of South Beach Phase 2. I can't do that hard core stuff anymore, it's frankly a giant pain in my a**. I hear that over time the 7th day binge subsides but today it's going strong and the three delicious carb-laden muffins I ate in under 2 minutes were ever so satisfying!!!

I'll update as this process goes on and is a resounding, overwhelming success!!! Hmmm, that's strange, where did the other half of that cake go?

J. Crew Online Knits Sale

2010-02-23T17:21:00.000-08:00

Three days only, online only...J Crew fabulous knits sale!! 20% off all knits and tees.

Not anything too exciting but a few cute things with some well-placed ruffles. Some great deals on basic tees and tanks starting at $14.40. Loving that knit dresses and leggings are included too, thanks J Crew!

Good way to get a jump start on some summer looks. I might get a few of these and wear them under sweaters and cardigans just as a reminder that it will get warmer...eventually.

Disclaimer: I need to put it out there that I can not support the shorts that some of these tops are pictured with. Little known fact that shorts were invented by the Devil and it is impossible for them to look good on anyone. Disclaimer on my disclaimer: shorts have the possibility of not being insanely horrible if they are formal, made or satin, and worn with expensive stilettos.

Absolutely Fabulous New Products!!!

2010-02-20T09:21:00.000-08:00

Oh how I love new makeup products, especially ones that I am fairly certain will revolutionize my entire existence like these three new wonders!!

#1. Clinique All About Eyes Serum De-Puffing Eye Massage; repackaging of All About Eyes (love it anyway) with a "unique cooling rollerball tip." I'm a little confused as to why this is unique considering that stupid drugstore brand Garnier has been advertising the crap out of their rollerball eye cream but I am nonetheless excited about this. First, I have touching my makeup and skincare, I am fairly certain that does nothing but spread germs so I like the concept of the rollerball. Secondly, it looks cool and I will try anything new just for the sake of it being new, let's be honest here.

#2. NARS Orgasm Illuminator; my favorite blush ever revamped into a liquid version highlighter! The company says it can be used "over the face" (don't understand that at all, wouldn't your entire face be glowing peachy/gold) or as a highlighter. I will definitely be using this as a cream/liquid blush along with my Urban Decay highlighter...with these two in combination, I might just have the perfect face!!

#3. Benefit Stay Don't Stray; best idea ever...not only is it an eyeshadow base but also a concealer base so you can slap this all the way around your eye and not have to worry about your shadow or under eye concealer running away during the day. Can't wait to try this...I think this is really very innovative (that's my excuse to spend $ on it...you might want to try that excuse, it seems to work well for me:)

Potero Luxery Shoes

2010-02-20T09:05:00.000-08:00

If you've been reading my blog you know that I love, love, love www.proteroluxery.com. I am exploring their shoe selection currently and getting a little too excited about it all. If you want to shop here though, shop fast, one of each and, at the ridiculous discounts, they go fast.

Some of my favorites right now:

Christian Louboutin Bronze Metallic Leather Scissor Girl, platform base, almost a bootie type peep-toe, gorgeous color. I would wear these every day, including while vacuuming and cleaning toilets. $493/45% off!

Christian Louboutin Raspberry Patent Leather Slingbacks, platform base, classic/perfect slingbacks. $438/45% off!

Prada Brown Satin & Camel Leather Cap Toe Ballet Flats, I'm not usually a fan of Prada shoes (gasp!) but I adore these. #1, give me a satin ballet flat any day and a well constructed one at that, top it with a camel colored cap toe and bow and you have, pretty much, the perfect ballet flat...thank you Prada, I appreciate you:) $237/55% off!

Please remember everyone, just because it's expensive does not make it cute...shop wisely! (ex: everyone with the last name Olsen...money does not buy class people!) Also, just an aside, I really hope J.Lo hasn't trashed up Louboutins too much with that ridiculous song.

Williams Sonoma Home

2010-02-20T08:48:00.000-08:00

I didn't even know this existed and I am so excited...I love it!!! WS already makes my kitchen very happy and now it can expand the happiness to the rest of the house, thanks WS!

Right now you can enter for a $500 gift card (but no one else do this because I want to win:). Maybe I shouldn't have told you that, hmmm. Anyway, I am drooling over several items at WS Home right now. They have some amazing bedding. Continuing my obsession with all things monogrammed, there are some beautiful monogrammed bedding sets. I just know that all of Carrie's and Big's sheets in their giant new apartment are monogrammed! Be still my heart, some are even on sale! My current favorite, the foliage bedding (monogramed of course) is currently on sale for $35-$225. I admit I do usually buy sheets in sets because they are so much cheaper but if I was wanting to blow a little money, these would definitely be in contention.

Considering that Pottery Barn and WS are the same company I do question the differences between their products. I suspect there aren't any differences but I don't care. More places to shop is always a good thing in my book!

Lancome.com Sweet Free Gift

2010-02-17T13:57:00.000-08:00

www.lancome-USA.com is having a free gift (hence my wildly creative title:). Free shipping and free gift with any purchase over $50. Enter code MICHELLEPHAN at checkout. The gift includes a beautiful lipstick in Pale Lip, Black Definicils Mascara (who can ever have enough of this?), Sun Bronzing Powder, and Bi-Facil Eye makeup remover (I can have more than enough of this considering it's in every gift and I don't use it). Oh how I love free gifts!

Some Lancome staples that I love are Definicils mascara in Black (TRY IT!) and the Cils Booster (white lash conditioner that you put on before mascara that makes such a difference, promise), Blush in Sparkling Pink Pool and Shimmer Mocha Havana, Effacernes Waterproof Undereye Concealer, and Juicy Tubes. I like their eye shadows too but not more than other prestige brands like Chanel and Dior. I hate, hate, hate most of their fragrances. They swear they are not "stronger" than other brands but I swear you put one spray of any of them on and you will not only have a headache within the hour but will be knocking people over with your overwhelming scent immediately upon application. I kind of like Miracle if I spray and walk and Hypnose doesn't make me want to puke but the others are disgusting.

So, if you are wanting some makeup happies, head on over to Lancome and pick up some fun along with a free gift:)

Burberry New Spring Accessories

2010-02-17T11:45:00.001-08:00

These obviously fall under the category of fabulous (and in the category of things I can't afford, but this is my blog and in my own blog world I can afford anything!!). Amazing shoes, new handbags, and the most amazing cuffs I have ever seen (pink cuff!!!!). A little aside...I so enjoy the fact that Burberry loves pink as much as I do. I am going to include lots of pictures here because Burberry speaks louder than words, again, obviously. www.neimanmarcus.com

Cashmere Sale!!!

2010-02-16T16:51:00.000-08:00

Neiman Marcus is having a Cashmere sale...hurrah!! Up to 70% off and free shipping with a purchase of $200 (code: FEBSHIP) This is one of the first end of season sales that I have seen and I'm so excited. Cashmere is timeless and classic (is that the same thing?) so I always think it's a good investment and, at up to 70% off, INVEST!! There are a lot of great basics available in this sale and some really cute trendy pieces that we all could still get tons of wear out of, what with all the snow this season:)

A few pieces I'm loving: Bow-front cashmere top (was $295, now $88), Scoop Neck Cardigan (was $400, now $120), Beaded Cashmere Shift Dress (was $335, now $195), Pleated Collar Cardigan (was $395, now $118)!!

My Latest Obsession

2010-02-15T19:20:00.000-08:00

This changes on a minute to minute basis, but currently my obsession is with Hunter rain boots. I must own these, my feet need them...my feet must stay dry!! The gray ones make me drool. It's hard to put my finger on why I adore these so much, the adorable label is one reason and I love that they are taller than most wellies. They come to just below the knee/maybe upper mid-calf. They are just so beautiful! Now, I understand that some of you might think rain boots are stupid. Well, I think Uggs are stupid so we will just have to agree to disagree on this one. So that we're all clear, I am not advocating the short boot (gross) but the original. I don't want anyone to order the short boots, hate them, and think I told you to do it! I love, love, love the beige and also the gray. Let me paint you a picture: rainy day, Hunter rain boots in beige, khaki Burberry trench, Burberry novacheck scarf and umbrella to match. Maybe throw in a Tod's camel tote or, if we're really thinking big time here, an Hermes Birkin. Best rainy day ever!

Computers for Girls!!

2010-02-15T17:30:00.000-08:00

Finally, our computers don't have to look like boy computers! Why has this taken so long to occur to computer makers? I think they have been ignoring a huge market...I would drop more money on a laptop that was cute than an ugly one...definitely. But I guess Steve Jobs and Bill Gates don't have much experience with the fairer sex.

Vivienne Tam and HP are launching a Mini notebook that is champagne colored with butterflies! Thank you! Carrie Bradshaw would definitely be getting one of these for writing "Sex and the City." Big would buy it for her, obviously. Tam is calling them a "digital clutch," how cute is that?! I want one just because its called that!! See, cute = money spent! Ready for even more cute?? The enter key has the Chinese symbol for double-happiness character on it...how peaceful and, also, the greatest idea of all time. Another version is deep plum color with gorgeous flowers, tummy! www.hpdirect.com, $599.

I have an idea, let's combine nail polish and laptops. Oh wait, that's not my idea, it's OPI and Dell's. I think it's a good one. It's no Vivienne Tam but still cutie. You can match your nail polish to your computer...seriously. The "Hong Kong" case colors are available on three Dell laptop models. Oh, how I love OPI color names! A few of the case colors are Red My Fortune Cookie (redish), Dim Sum Plum (purpleish), Hot and Spicy (yellowish), Jade is the New Black (greenish), Suzi Says Feng Shui (blueish), and Meet Me on the Star Ferry (pinkish). www.dell.com, starting at $364.

White House|Black Market...it's a house and a market...get it?!

2010-02-15T08:34:00.000-08:00

While CUSP was an epic fail this week, White House|Black market once again comes through to brighten my day and redeem my faith and hope in fashion. They are having an "Artful Unbasics" promotion right now with nine pieces, all of which are amazing and I want them. Thanks WH|BM for not being offensive:)

The collection is black and white...go figure...and is simple and classic. A few ruffles here and there but very tiny and tasteful. I would wear it to work and not fear being thought an idiot for my frilly clothing. My favorites are the Micropleated Tweed Jacket, the Elysee Pencil Skirt, and the Sculpted Poplin Shirt.

Spring denim from $49.99 (SCORE!) and free shipping this week only on purchases over $125.

CUSP - Tribe & True - I Don't Think So

2010-02-15T07:40:00.000-08:00

First off, I find the tag lines in this promotion offensive. I don't think it is OK to call anything "tribal" or "ethnic," sounds ignorant and insensitive to me. Just wanted to get that out of the way.

Anyway, CUSP has a new promotion called "Tribe & True: The Exotic New Trend." Also included in the promotion are the words "Tribal Fusion." PLEASE! I completely don't support this trend. Number one, every bit of it is fugly! Secondly, so many groups should be offended by this, it's hard to name them all but here are a few: Native Americans, traditional African tribes, Hippies (tie-dye and acid washed leggings...how did Lindsay Lohan get in on this?), and wild animals (zebra and leopard print everywhere...gross).

CUSP is brought to you by Neiman Marcus so I am especially confused as to why this sucks so bad considering my usual love of NM. Ladies, sometimes trends are not OK...this is one of those times.

The Beauty Snob

2010-02-14T09:56:00.000-08:00

If you haven't yet, head on over to www.beautysnob.com and sign up for their emails. It is always the highlight of my day when I see one in my inbox! Their fab emails are filled with articles that every "Cosmo girl" needs to know. (note: I hate Cosmo, I think it's trashy, but ten points to anyone who catches the reference) Some I don't give a crap about but most of them are a great way to hear about new products and add things to my www.makeupalley.com swap list!! Some of this weeks gems:

- Ferragamo launches new scent: Incanto Bloom; it was launched last week, will be sold exclusively at Bloomie's, and has the Farragamo bow on the cap!!!

- Bobbie Brown has a heart: Heart Truth Bronze Shimmer Brick Set, only 500 limited edition available at www.bobbiebrown.com, part of a partnership with the Heart Truth Campaign to raise awareness of Heart Disease in Women.

- I knew I loved Cartier: Les Heures de Parfum; Valentine's Gift Set in Cartier red leather box featuring four of their L'Heure scents, completely adorable and such a steal at only $1,725. OK, just kidding about that being a steal but you can get a single fragrance from the collection for $250 if that's more in your budget. (maybe someone will just buy the scent and give me the empty box:)

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY Y'ALL!!

Bergdorf Holds the Key to My Heart

2010-02-10T15:15:00.000-08:00

If I had an iPhone and used this app they would also have my entire bank account! Bergdorf Goodman purveyor of all things expensive and wonderful, has a new app for your iPhone or iPhone Touch called "The Shoe Salon." Here's what they have to say about it:

Every day, Bergdorf Goodman will offer you 24-hour access to an exclusively selected, must-have style. Purchase shoes instantly, share finds with friends, and enjoy expedited delivery and complimentary returns.

For every app that is downloaded, Bergdorf will donate $5 to City Harvest, a charity that feeds over 250,000 New Yorkers. They are laying on the incentives to download this app think and, once it is downloaded, how will anyone be able to resist the must-have styles?!?! Don't fight it, download it and enjoy a new pair of shoes every day!

ULTA...Some Fun for Valentine's Day

2010-02-07T11:06:00.000-08:00

I don't love Ulta as much as I love Sephora...I think having non-prestige cosmetics is a sell-out, but in the interest of supporting a store that does carry a limited selection of prestige I do shop there occasionally.; not to mention they have crazy good sales and specials going on almost all of the time.

From now until Valentine's Day when you order online you get a free makeup bag with eight free samples with a purchase over $35. Caveat: It's a stupid clear bag and the samples are those useless packets but they are free and, therefore, excite me very much. Also, every ULTA brand item is buy two get two free right now, I already cashed in on this one in store and bought four body scrubs @ $10/each for $20!

Suggestion: make a shopping bag filled with your favorite goodies, pick your free samples, throw in some extra stuff just because it's Valentine's Day :) and leave your computer strategically placed so your man will see it and purchase everything on your list for your gift! Thank you, I am a genius!

I Found Out What's Wrong With My Face!

2010-02-06T10:25:00.000-08:00

Hurrah!! I am just going with what the dermatologist said because I haven't heard it before so I am going to assume it is correct. YAY, there is something I can do to fix it all! I have something-or-other dermatitis that is causing my eye problems, something-or-else-other dermatitis around my mouth, and psoriasis on my scalp (gross!). My derm said that it was a severe case of bad luck that this all happened at the same time. I blame stress so I will attribute the improvement in my skin to the Wii Fit (see previous post:).

I have been using the products/skin regimen she recommended for only 5 days and I can't believe the difference. Everything literally looks almost normal again! I am taking an oral antibiotic and, am washing my face with CeraVe cleanser then applying Protopic around my eyes and an anti-bacterial lotion around my mouth. I have a cortisone liquid solution to put on my scalp. Fun fact, it is literally 39% alcohol, I wonder if I just dipped my head in a vat of vodka each day if it would be the same difference. I am following all this up with CeraVe moisturizing cream. It's all quite nice. Also, with my new skin care regimen, I have a lot more stuff to swap on Makeup Alley! According to my Derm I should be able to use my regular makeup and once this mess on my face gets cleared up it should stay away!

Wii Fit & Relaxation...the Best of Both Worlds!!!

2010-02-06T10:10:00.000-08:00

I got a Wii Fit a few weeks ago and LOVE it!! The last month or so has been so stressful and I have had so much fun getting a little bit of exercise playing games and not thinking about things that have to be done. I got the Wii Fit Plus at Target for $99. The Plus has an extra set of games that are super fun. There are also balance games, aerobics, yoga positions, and strength exercises. I admit that I definitely play the new games and the balance games much more than the other choices but I try to do a few of those just for posterity. My favorites are the hula hoop, skateboarding, and the obstacle course.

I do have to say that while it is very fun and you are certainly burning more calories that sitting on the couch, the Wii Fit is not going to replace a regular workout schedule. I am using it in addition to my workouts at the gym, cardio exclusively, and do it everyday for the body test. It measures your BMI and weight and records it. It definitely helps me to see it on a graph and is a really great and easy way to keep track of exercise and weight without having to write it down, which I never remember to do.

ENDING TODAY...Banana Republic Sale

2010-01-24T09:42:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite places for work clothes, the Banana, is having a great sale on work attire. 25% off work styles, online only. Be careful of ordering online from the Banana if you don't know what cut pants you wear. They have a few different cuts, which I definitely appreciate, but they fit wildly differently, even in the same sizes. One style of their wide-leg dress pants (not my favorite but maybe it's yours) starts at $49.99, HELLO!

Best Beauty Tips

2010-01-23T10:25:00.001-08:00

I am finally getting around to going through the ridiculously large pile of magazines that I get in the mail and don't have time to read. I am determined to go through at least one each day until I get them out of my house, which isn't really hard because once I get started, I usually read three or four at a time. Could you have guessed that I love magazines??

An InStyle from this summer had a list of the 50 Best Beauty Tips and I thought I would pick out the best ones and share. Some of these I actually hadn't heard before and will be trying ASAP!
- Make your own dry shampoo - I have posted before about one of my favorite hair products, Pssssst! Dry Shampoo. I do love it but I go through it quickly since I only wash my hair two or three times a week (try it, don't be a hater!). I pay $7/can at CVS but I am going to make my own, per this InStyle recommendation, and save some money!! Just mix equal parts Baking Soda and Baby Powder. Sprinkle it through hair, leave in for maybe a minute, fluff hair, then brush out...gorgeous!! I can't wait to try this!

- Make your own volumizing spray - take two sugar packets and put them in a 20 oz. bottle of water. Spray in hair for instant volume. I haven't tried this one but it was recommended by Oscar Blandi so I am just going to assume it's a great tip.

- Wash your face with dandruff shampoo? - this sounds a little fishy to me but with all the trouble I've been having with my eyes I am definitely going to try it. According to InStyle, washing your face with dandruff shampoo decreases yeast levels which cause scaly skin. Who knew? Well, InStyle I guess.
- Last but not least...make your own cream blush - I am all over this one! Take old/cracked powder blushes and crush them up in a bowl with the back of a spoon. Mix the powder with regular old lip balm (I'm going to use Burt's Bees) and, poof, you have cream blush. I use cream blush under my powder blush since my oily skin sucks up powder color so I can't wait to mix a few of my old powder blushes together and make some new colors of cream blush...FUN!

Swagbucks Redux

2010-01-23T10:07:00.001-08:00

It's been a week since I started messing with the Swagbucks and it's going alright so far. As you might notice, I did remove the widgets from the side of the blog, they were just too unsightly. I have been using the search engine that I downloaded and get a buck or two every day. I have 15 just from this week. That is enough swagbucks for a bunch of things, the only ones that I might be interested in are a few different CD's (not all of which are complete crap) and several different $5 gift cards. I am going to continue saving the swagbucks though and will probably wait until I have several hundred so I can get a gift card...YAY!

Portero Luxery Louis Vuitton Event

2010-01-21T11:26:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite websites, www.porteroluxery, sells premium pre-owned luxury goods. Trust me, I'm not talking about "vintage" crap that is disintegrating, most of their items look fabulous and their website is so fun to browse through when you are trying to not be doing something else! They also rate their bags with ratings like "pristine" and "excellent" and provide a great description of what these terms mean when they are rating so you will never be surprised!

Right now they are having a Louis Vuitton even with bags up to 63% (that's a weird percentage, right?) off and some bags starting under $200...SCORE! The only thing I see right now that I love is the LV Damier Azur Canvas Saleya MM Tote Bag, excellent condition, retail = $1,050, portero price = $683, percent off = 35%. Check it out though, maybe you'll see something you love and can't live without.

Just a side-note, I certainly don't want to be false advertising that I'm going to go right now and drop $683 on a LV, I am not. In my fantasy world, though, I already bought it:)

SPANX Swimsuits = Best Idea Ever!

2010-01-21T10:58:00.000-08:00

Good news ladies...SPANX is coming out with a swimsuit line...genius!!! Not only will the collection of one and two-pieces suck you in comfortably, some of them are strikingly cute! I will be purchasing one or more of these shortly:) For instance, a bikini bottom is designed to be dig-free plus has a hidden tummy control panel. My favorite is the gorgeous one-shoulder (style 714) that includes a shelf-bra (a must-have for me) and a slimming waist! The main suit is black with a white ruffle from the one shoulder diagonally across the bust. Gorgeous. Not cheap, between $150-$200, but, like all expensive clothes, should last forever. I think they are totally worth it! These aren't available yet, not sure when they will be coming out but they should be available soon at www.spanx.com, Saks, and Bloomies!

Michael Kors for Estee Lauder

2010-01-21T10:47:00.000-08:00

I am so sick of designers marketing low end, crappy clothes and makeup at Target. It's just gross. Sure the clothes might look alright but they are just like any other cheaply made clothes. They don't wash well, the seams will fall out, and you might get a few months wear out of them. I get it that some people can't afford designer labels and it lets them have a glimpse in to the fashion world, but I just can't get on board with this hot mess.

What I can support, however, is designers working with prestige cosmetics companies and creating limited edition lines for them. Love it! Michael Kors has teamed up with Estee Lauder and has two collections, Bel Aire Beige and Rodeo Drive. These are called "makeup wardrobes" and each color palette has your typical color necessities, blush, lip gloss, eyeshadow, liners, and lipstick. Really like this idea. We all know that I love expensive makeup because you can get the most expensive lip gloss around and still come out under $35...love that! It's a little indulgence without going crazy.

Check these out at any Estee Lauder counter:)

Coupons, the Greatest Invention Ever??

2010-01-19T17:21:00.000-08:00

YES!!!!!!!

Today was a great coupon day...I love use them, I love saving money of things I'm buying anyway, and I love feeling like I'm outsmarting the store (which I totally am:). Thanks to www.southernsavers.com for the most amazing help in figuring this all out and making it so simple. I spent around 45 minutes last night getting my shopping list together, cutting coupons from last Sundays paper, and printing coupons from online. A little smart shopping goes a long way y'all!!!

CVS was my first stop of the "Tour of Awesome Savings" that I have officially dubbed today. I made two transaction, got $7 Extra Care Bucks from the first, then used that towards the purchase of 6(!) 12-can packs of Pepsi products. They were 3 for $11, buy one get one free, and then you got $10 Extra Care Bucks back when you bought $20 of the Pepsi stuff! SO, to sum up, I ended up paying $4.81 for 6 12-can packs. It was literally like crack, which is, in fact, not whack, but amazing! The coupons, not the crack. The "Tour of Awesome Savings" then proceeded to Publix where I, the Queen of shopping, saved $19.87!!

Is there some kind of prize for this? I guess saving money is it's own reward (I just threw up a little bit in my mouth for saying that).

Bergdorf's Beauty Event

2010-01-18T14:02:00.000-08:00

For those of you who an still enjoy my beloved cosmetics, an FYI that Bergdorf Goodman is having an amazing promotion. In store until January 30 and online until February 1, you get an amazing snake skin-y cosmetic bag filled with deluxe samples with any $200 beauty and/or fragrance purchase. Stock up ladies and try out some new stuff while you're at it!

Golden Globes Fashion...Hits and Misses

2010-01-18T09:39:00.000-08:00

I admit, I didn't watch the Golden Globes, all I really care about are the clothes anyway and I knew I could get a hefty serving of that today online. I was right, of course:) I don't listen to those Fashion Police people because I often think they are wrong and I am right, again, of course. So here are my favorites and the not-so-muches.

HITS:Sandra Bullock - a lot of people didn't like this dress but I love it! It's very Glinda-y and I would wear it every day if I could. The only think that would have made this better is if it were in pink.

Emily Blount - Heidi Klum's dress done right. Soft, flowy (but not too much), kind of perfect.

Fergie - let me start this by saying that I hate, hate, hate her. However, if you take her ugly head off this dress, the dress is amazing. Great color, cut, and style. Love it!

Kate Winslet - enough said. Perfection every time!

Nicole Kidman - I love the similarity between the color of the dress and her skin tone. Very monochromatic and fabulous.

Jennifer Westfeldt - couture perfection!

Toni Collette - not much would look good on her body but this dress is to die for! Very flapper meets old Hollywood meets fabulous!

Thank you to those of you not wearing black, I appreciate it.

MISSES:Halle Berry - I don't know why people always think her dresses are fab, they are not. This hot mess looked like a lace/zipper factory threw up on her. Gross.

Drew Barrymore - why is she wearing a Swarovsky Crystal purse on her shoulder and hip? I do like the pink though. It's like that episode of SATC where Big gives Carries the duck purse.

Heidi Klum - another one that could put on a trash bag and everyone would think she looked amazing...except for me. She looks like she had an unfortunate confrontation with a cloud before arrival.

Mariah Cary - ATTENTION - it is not the 90's so stop dressing like it is. Also, you do not weigh 100 pounds, just in case you didn't realize it, which you clearly don't.

Anna Paquin - I hate to say this because she's my favorite but I think a girl wore this to my senior prom and it looked stupid then. Or maybe it was my grandma, I can't remember.

Rite Wilson - I think my grandma made this dress out of her curtains, and not in a fabulous way like Maria von Trapp.

Vanessa Manillo - this is not the Miss America Pageant!

What's with all the ruffles and hanging, shapeless sequins? Also, why did so many beautiful women just decide not to do their hair and leave it hanging limply in their faces? I don't understand, it confuses me.

Round 2...Organic Makeup = SUCCESS!!

2010-01-17T18:56:00.000-08:00

Clearly, I have lowered my standards when classifying a success but today I was able to wear a little of the Aubrey Organics skincare and makeup and a tad of the Lavera and...NO IRRITATION! Thank goodness!! I woke up with beautiful peeling eyes...all over...and had to suck it up because I went to see a matinee of a musical and, unfortunately, couldn't leave my eyes at home. Washed my face with baby shampoo, followed by Aubrey Organics Moisturizer, Lavera concealer, AO powder foundation, and even a dollop of AO bronzer! Wore my glasses and the effect wasn't that horrible. I put a tiny bit of Egyptian Magic around my eyes and made sure not to get anything near them and things turned out alright!!

A few thoughts...Aubrey Organics still stinks...bad. The rancid smell does go away quickly though thank goodness. I couldn't smell that on my face all day, no way, no how. Powder foundations just aren't for me. I will continue to use this one because it won't make my face freak out, but I come from a medium/heavy coverage background and this light "natural" business is just not for me. I am thinking of ordering the Lavera liquid foundation and topping it with the AO powder and seeing what happens. That will definitely be waiting until my eyes are healed up though. I suspect the horrors of Friday night were due to an eye cream I foolishly put on. I wasn't thinking that even if a product is organic and natural that this might not be the best time to be putting eye creams on. So, it's out of rotation for a good long while.

The big test of all this new stuff will be when I put on all of it. Using the skincare and eye makeup especially. Clearly this won't be happening for a while but I am hoping that if I get these sweet little green eyes of mine to heal and be happy that they will continue being happy with some shadow, liner, and mascara. I know I would if I were them:)

Confederates in the Attic

2010-01-16T20:37:00.001-08:00

I am reading a great book right now and thought I would share. It is Confederates in the Attic: Dispatches From the Unfinished Civil War by Tony Horwitz. Horwitz traveled throughout ten southern states to try and answer the question of why the Civil War is still so pervasive and present in southern memory. He jumps from huge issues surrounding the Confederate flag and race to seemingly silly side notes about a day in the life of a "hardcore" Civil War reenactor. Horwitz's prose is seamless, witty, and, at times, very upsetting. Being a good southerner myself, obviously, I was very upset with the recent story of a young white man being hailed as a "Confederate hero" after he was shot by an African American man in his pick up truck with a sprawling Confederate flag sticking up from the tool box. Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, a lesson this book illustrates nicely, but this is my blog so it's my opinion:) This kid was no Confederate hero! From witness accounts it sounds like he was being an a-hole to a group of African American kids and things got out of hand. It's situations like this, the behavior of all parties involved, that makes us Southerners seem like morons! Anyway, that little bit hit home and really affected me. Any book that can rouse emotion in me like that, either positive or negative, is something to pay attention to.

This book has me questioning many of my notions about what it means to be a Southerner in general and a southern woman in particular. Yes, my ancestor fought for the Confederacy in the Civil War. One of them was shot out of a tree by a Yankee...just ask my grandpa, he'll tell you all about it! I am fairly certain though that I can remember and honor my forbears without joining the Daughters of the Confederacy or dressing up like Scarlet O'hara an attending Civil War reenactments. Although, I think we all know I would dress up like Scarlet every day of the week if I could, but for other reasons:) Why did my grandparents all, without exception, find it necessary to "kid with" my husband from Boston before we got married with quips like "I guess we'll let a Yankee in our family." And why did my grandpa find it necessary to tell my husband the story of his grandpa getting shot out of a tree by Yankees every time he saw him? Just to make sure my Yankee wasn't here in Alabama as a spy? Warning me not to climb trees around my husband because we all know what Yankees do to Southerners in trees?

Lots to think about in this book. I give it two well-manicured thumbs up and think y'all should read it and let me know what you thought!

Let's Help Haiti Y'all!!

2010-01-16T15:03:00.000-08:00

The recent earthquake in Haiti is just completely devastating. I encourage everyone to donate to a reputable charity to help but I wanted to also make everyone aware of several websites I like to frequent that are either offering links to reputable service organizations or making donations themselves. Since these are all reputable websites I would feel comfortable about contributing through their links.

www.toryburch.com
www.porteroluxery.com ($10 on every order donated to the Red Cross)
www.zappos.com (link to Red Cross)
www.amazon.com (link to Mercy Corps)

http://www.redcross.org/
http://www.worldvision.org/worldvision/eappeal.nsf/egift-haiti-earthquake-relief

Swagbucks.com

2010-01-16T14:41:00.001-08:00

In my obsession with coupons and saving money (that is quickly growing out of control:) I ran across swagbucks.com. You are rewarded with digital dollars for using their search engine and shopping online through their site. There are also other ways to earn digital dollars like recycling old cell phones, gaming systems, and games. I love this one! Maybe I can convince my husband to get rid of a few of these things that are taking over the garage!

I downloaded their toolbar so I will use that instead of Google, although I am very devoted to the Google. You can cash in your digital dollars for rewards, the gift cards look promising. You can get a $5 gift card to several different places for 15-ish swagbucks or save them up (which my impulsive self is hoping to do) and get rewards like a $50 Sephora gift card for 975 swagbucks or even a $300 Apple gift card for 3700 swag bucks.

As you can see, I installed a very uncute widget on my page to earn extra swagbucks. I am having trouble tolerating the ugliness on my cutie cute blog but I'll try to be a big girl about the situation:)

I'll track my progress on here and we'll see how it goes!

Day 1 Organic Skincare/Makeup = FAIL

2010-01-15T21:15:00.000-08:00

Happy Friday!!

I have just spent the last 30 minutes with a washcloth containing ice cubes plastered over my red, swollen eyes. We were at friends having a fun game night and about halfway through my eyes decided to swell, itch, and turn red...we're talking about a 7 out of 10 here. I was really in a lot of pain, we left early because I just had to wash my face! Actually, I'm still in a lot of pain. I took an antihistamine when I got home and put the ice on but no relief yet. It has to get better or, well, there is no "or," it just has to get better because I don't think I can stand it!

All of the organic skincare and makeup I ordered arrived today and I was so excited. Unfortunately, the skincare smells like a forest and is an amazingly snot-like shade of green. It is kind of like washing my face with moss, which I totally will do by the way if it returns my pretty eyes to me. I had a serious workout this afternoon and was all kinds of stanky so I took a shower and used my new products before we went over to our friends house. The new products I used were a facial scrub and face wash in the shower and toner and moisturizer after. I used an eye cream (clearly a bad idea) and concealer under my eyes and on the broken out laugh lines...oh, it's just all too disgusting. I used the new "powder foundation" (I think this is a misnomer because I have yet to use any powder product that had enough coverage to be considered an actual foundation) and a bronzer/blush. Not one thing on or near my face that was not limited ingredients and organic and no eye makeup except concealer. No fragrance anywhere either. I am completely out of ideas y'all!!!

Tomorrow I am going to buy unscented (sensitive skin) body soap, shampoo/conditioner, laundry detergent, fabric softener, and new pillows. I'm also going to buy enough pillow cases to sleep on a new one each night. I swear, I will try anything! This stuff can't hurt, right? I feel like I'm playing the world's smallest violin right now but I can't seem to keep anything else on my mind.

Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions???

Coupon Success!!!

2010-01-12T17:42:00.000-08:00

I had my first exhilarating coupon experience tonight!

Let me start out by saying that this happened after I tried to go to a bible study and had such a funny I had to go buy something to make myself feel better!

Story #1: I got an email today about joining a women's circle at church. I was really excited to get involved in this! I got myself all cute and headed to church. To my surprise, it was completely closed and locked up. Every door, I tried them all. I was definitely bummed but thought they maybe were holding it somewhere else and I just didn't get the message. W.E.L.L...when I got home I checked my email and realized that the leader sent the email yesterday (Monday). So all the "we're meeting tonight" business was actually last night and I didn't get it, woops! It also didn't occur to me that she said they meet the 2nd Monday of every month and it's Tuesday. All in a days work for me, all in a days work.

Back to my coupon success and story #2. By using www.southernsavers.com I learned about a great deal at Walgreen's on some disposable razors and printer paper. I really need the printer paper; not so much the razors right now but I will use them and the deal was just too good. I can keep them under the bathroom cabinet for a while. The BIC razors were on sale for 2/$10. I had a $3 off coupon from the January coupon booklet, and a buy one get one free coupon from the newspaper insert. The printer paper was $0.50 off so it was only $3.49. I spent a total of $5.49 and saved $10.48!!! With the coupons the razors turned out to be $2.00 for 2 packs of 4 Soleil razors!!! SCORE!!! Also, the razors are PINK...DOUBLE SCORE!!!!!

UPDATE: When I was putting away my super amazing purchases I realized that one of the packages of razors I got was a bonus pack with 2 extra razors in it!!!! So, razors that would have been $1.50/each ended up being $0.20/each!!!

Cosmetic Toxicity

2010-01-12T15:22:00.000-08:00

My world has been rocked...

Cosmetics are bad for you, well, a lot of them anyway. How, in my liberal, earth-loving mind, did I not know this or put two and two together that products with dozens of lab created ingredients might not be good for my skin, not to mention my body! My last post a a bit flippant about the new makeup I ordered but, after researching some more, it seems very obvious that the things I have been putting on my skin for years would cause a reaction like I've been dealing with in certain people. ***BUMMED***

Michelle, the sweet one who turned me on to the list of inactive ingredients that can be harmful, sent me to a website that if, frankly, scary to me. Check out the website for The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, www.safecosmetics.org. In itself, this is a great site, giving lots of information, based on lab studies, about different chemicals in products, potential hazards of those chemicals, and also offering links and instructions for contacting companies and the government to demand safer products.

From the Safe Cosmetics Website, click on the SKIN DEEP link. This is really scary stuff. You can put in a product and see the potential harmful ingredients it contains. From the website, "Given the incomplete information made available by companies and the government, EWG provides additional information on personal care product ingredients from the published scientific literature. The chart below indicates that research studies have found that exposure to one or more ingredients in this product -- not the product itself -- caused the indicated health effect(s) in the studies reviewed by Skin Deep researchers. Actual health risks, if any, will vary based on the level of exposure to the ingredient and individual susceptibility -- information not available in Skin Deep." I appreciate their disclaimer there but, even more, I appreciate knowing that companies I thought I knew and trusted are using ingredients that have been known to cause problems, minor as well as major. The site gives each product a toxicity score 1-10 and will also show the range of toxicity scores for each brand.

The following Clinique (Hypo-allergenic, 100% Fragrance Free) products that I use every day have ingredients in them that have been scientifically proven to cause irritation of the eyes, skin, or lungs in them, not to mention lots of other scary stuff: Rinse-off Foaming Cleanser (EXT D&C VIOLET 2, PHENOXYETHANOL, BUTYLENE GLYCOL), Touch Tint for Eyes (BHT, TITANIUM DIOXIDE (NON-NANO), TETRASODIUM EDTA, SORBIC ACID), Colour Surge Eye Shadow (TITANIUM DIOXIDE (NON-NANO), TETRASODIUM EDTA, OCTYLDODECANOL), Tarte Cheek Stain (PROPYLENE GLYCOL, LAURETH-23. Clearly, these are just a few of the many cosmetic products that touch my face each day. Before today, the only one of these ingredients I had ever even heard of as being potentially irritating was the Titanium Dioxide.

This is a lot of information for me to take in all at once and it will take me a while to process. I am going to make some changes in my cosmetics routine, some major changes, and, it might sound silly, but that's scary for me. I LOVE MAKEUP and SKINCARE but not more than the health of my skin and body.

Skin (eye) Irritants

2010-01-12T10:06:00.001-08:00

In my never ending search for something to correct my disgusting eye problem I requisitioned my best friend who is a nurse to help. She has very sensitive skin too and was able to offer a short list of common skin irritants, often inactive ingredients in skincare and makeup, to avoid. Now, of course I have no idea what these things are but if they are making my eyes do this, they better stay away from me if they know what's good for them! Beware imidazolidinyl urea and diazolidinyl urea, fragrances, sodium lauryl sulfate, mineral oil, MEA, TEA, toluene, and DMAE...I'm coming for you!

When I was doing a bit of research I discovered that most commercial makeup lines use some or all of these ingredients in their products to give them a longer shelf life or better staying power! I did confirm that Clinique uses at least a few of them:( I question the hypo-allergenic claim if I am allergic to your ingredients. I know that Clinique tests every product on 1,000 people and if any of them have a reaction they reformulate. The deal is, if I had totally normal skin to start with and was exposed just once, I might not have a reaction right then either. FLAW IN THE SYSTEM!

I found a cool website called http://www.lesstoxicguide.ca/index.asp?fetch=personal that has a list of the top contributors to contact dermatitis and recommendations for what are the best alternative brands to reduce the irritation! I admit, the thought of not wearing a prestige brand of makeup and using prestige skincare makes me a little sick but I know that's silly and I would much rather have normal eyes again and wear non-prestige makeup than keep this hot mess going! From this websites information it looks like the brands with the least chance of making me want to scoop my eyeballs out with a grapefruit spoon are Lavera, Burt's Bees, and Aubrey Organics. Other than Burt's Bees I have never heard of these but am definitely willing to give them a try!

So, I just went online shopping, how fun! I ordered from Lavera and Aubrey Organic. I will give a full report when I receive and have been using this stuff for a while. Hopefully, I will be able to report that my eyes are back to their normal sparkling selves!! I got EVERYTHING I might need. Actually, it would be such a relief if I could only use these products. Just think about it. I wouldn't have to make choices. I would use one eyeliner, one foundation, one eyeshadow...you see where I'm going with this. YAY! There is hope! From Lavera I ordered mascara, eye liner, eye shadow, concealer, and pressed powder. From Aubrey Organic I ordered 3-step skin care for normal skin, face mask & scrub, makeup remover, blush/bronzer, foundation brush, eye creme, and foundation.

If this new skincare/makeup does work out at least I'll have TONS of stuff to put on Makeup Alley. Then I can stock up on haircare and my favorite fragrances. FUN!

Keep your fingers crossed y'all!

AIDS of the Eyeball?

2010-01-11T18:50:00.000-08:00

OK folks, my previous post about my eye grossness was EXTREMELY too optimistic. Over the holidays it never cleared up. Many days in a row without any makeup helped but the swelling, redness, itching, and scaliness never completely went away, not in any sense. I ended up caving and paying $30 for the ugly container of Egyptian Magic which worked really well at first (for a few days) but isn't so "magic" anymore. Boo. The hydrocortisone cream still clears up the nastiness the best but at this point my eyelids are so raw and sensitive that it burns too much to use.

Here is exactly what I used on my face and when today: in shower: Clinique 7-day scrub (gentle physical exfoliant) followed by baby shampoo all over my face; Clinique Clarifying Lotion 3 (nowhere near my eyes), Clinique Superdefense Moisturizer (avoiding eye area), Clinique All About Eyes (only under eye area); MAC Studio Fix foundation; Clinique Touch Tint for Eyes, Clinique Eyeshadow, liner, brow pencil; Lancome Cils Booster and Defenicils. That's all folks. I use Clinique antibacterial brushes that I clean often and also clean my pencils with alcohol and sharpen them often as well.

To sum up, over most of the holidays my eyes were generally red, irritated, and scaly (top lid left eye)...give or take. The grossness is strictly confined to the lower inner lid of the right eye (very occasionally a line under the right eyebrow) and on the inner half of the entire left eye and the entire area underneath it. The area underneath my left eye is also pealing now...GROSS! An additional gross that has never happened to me before is that the area roughly where smile lines would be is also red, irritated, and flaky...coincidence or no?

Around two this afternoon I got a shock when I looked in the restroom mirror and my eyes looked like I had been through a fire, a small fire only large enough to burn my eyes! My eyes hadn't been itching too badly but within an hour I was rushing home to get my makeup off as fast as I could. I wanted to claw my eyes out! I took a few pictures just to reassure myself that I'm not insane. I went back and forth about sharing these pictures because, well, honestly, they are disgusting, but if it will allow someone to see what's going on and help then I'll risk all the embarrassment in the world for some relief! At least I can put my ugly eye pictures in a cute frame to help me feel better. Help, help, help!!

Saving $ Can Be Fun! (I know, I know...)

2010-01-09T10:37:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: I love spending money...I assume if you've read my blog you have figured that out. However, like most of you, I do not have an unlimited amount of money to spend...unfortunately. So this year I have decided to save money on things I am going to buy anyway and do it with a positive attitude (gag).

YAY COUPONS! Coupons can actually be fun, who knew?! I have been really excited about this for a week now so maybe that's a sign that the enthusiasm will continue...let's hope. I am trying to think of saving money like a game and, actually, it is a fun (-ish) game. I will post links to all the fun websites I've been visiting for info and tips here in a little bit, but there are a few things about all this couponing that I didn't know that I thought I'd share.

Some people are CRAZY about this mess. I am sure they don't ever pay actual dollars for anything, which is awesome, but I don't have the time for all that. I do, though, have the time to print out a few coupons and search a few websites before I go to the store. Yes, that I can do. The crazy people's blogs and websites are really entertaining though! Apparently, there is an activity called CVSing. As I'm reading up on in I'm liking it more and more. I tried it last week and did get some really good deals...saved a lot. Or at least I thought I had until my husband came home with $8 worth of garbage bags; the same ones that I had gotten for free at CVS earlier in the day. We'll use them, whatever. So, CVS, they have an Extra Care Card and using it gets you Extra Care Bucks that you use like cash in the store. Now, I have been aware of these for a while. I get my prescriptions filled there and for every 2 prescriptions you get $1 in ECB (that's snazzy lingo for Extra Care Bucks:). Apparently you can work there system and never pay real money for anything ever again! (or so I hear;) I will, most likely, not be joining this club of extreme planners, but I did some smart shopping and got some free stuff, OK by me. CVS was giving away $5 ECB when you spent $10 on Nivea products. I bought 2 bottles of the shimmery body wash that I like to use (over $10), got my $5 ECB, then did another transaction using my ECB's and got the garbage bags I was going to buy anyway for free! How satisfying!

I am still learning about this crazy work of coupons and saving $ but, I must confess, it is a little bit fabulous. A few of the blogs below are super-cute and I think we can make saving money absolutely fabulous! Here are some websites to check out:

http://www.southernsavers.com

http://www.hip2save.com

http://www.frugalcouponliving.com

http://www.coupons.com

http://www.printablecouponsanddeals.com/

http://printablecouponspot.com/

http://freesamplefreak.com/

http://www.nicolesnickels.com/

Mod Retro Indie Clothing (& Vintage!!)

2010-01-07T09:17:00.000-08:00

Hey everyone! It's snowing at my house so what am I doing? Shopping online! I have been browsing www.modcloth.com for several months now and loving what I've seen. I am looking for work dresses and, SCORE, I found so many at modcloth and, while I was looking, found some church dresses, going-out dresses, and weekend dresses too! The adorable names don't hurt the fun either. Some of my favorites are The Emerald City Dress (anything OZ is OK by me but this is particularly amazing), Like Rosewater for Chocolate Dress, Tae Kwon Dress, and the Pleats and Thank You Dress. Their inventory changes often, they stock indie designers who produce in limited quantities, so go there quickly, shop, and enjoy!!! They also have a respectable vintage section. Personally, I prefer the new designs that are interpretations of vintage looks but some of the vintage options are alright. Not the most inspirational part of the website but for those vintage girls I'm sure they will love it.

Modcloth also boasts fabulous shoes and even home accessories. Love the shoes, not so much the home accessories (some of them seem a bit childish to me, I prefer more classic designs in my home) but, again, if it's up your alley I know you will love it.

Be the Buyer! LOVE THIS! Once you sign up at the site you can choose designs that you love. If a design gets enough votes, a designer will interpret it and offer it for sale on the site. As a Be the Buyer member you get an email when it appears so you can be the first to buy. This is particularly awesome because, like I said, it's not worth it for the designers to produce designs in large quantities for sale. This way, the designers have assurance that people are interested in the designs so they are more confident in making the designs we like best!

SHOP NOW Y'ALL!!

Take Care of Your Eyes!

2009-12-24T10:46:00.000-08:00

For years, 5 to be precise, I have had the worst, most gross, issues with my eyelids. It's not all the time so don't think I look like some sort of swamp monster, but occasionally my eyelids and under eye decide to become red, swollen, flaky, itchy, scaly and just plain gross. When it happens it usually lasts for several weeks. I have been fairly successful at covering it up with makeup but I still know it's there and it's nasty!

I have seen a dermatologist, general practitioner, and opthomologist...all to no avail. I know what triggers it for me, all Clinique mascaras and benzoyle peroxide. If I even look at benzoyle peroxide my eyes immediately swell shut and look like an alligator handbag. The following were recommendations that didn't work and/or hurt like hell: cortisone cream (temporarily reduces puffiness and redness but HURTS!), eye drops (nothing), sinus sprays/pills (nothing), and allergy tests (I'm only allergic to sycamore trees, which I think don't even grow here). The only thing that gave me even temporary relief from the redness and itchiness without hurting was Clinique All About Eyes. It is very soothing but doesn't help to clear it up, just temporarily relieves a few symptoms. Honestly, I can live with it now but I'm afraid that if it keeps happening I'm going to get some major wrinkles and that's just not OK with me.

I had enough of this mess and visited my new GP yesterday. She said that the low % benzoyle peroxide I have put on blemishes maybe twice in the last 4 months could have caused this the entire time! I should have known better. Salicylic Acid is a good alternative and doesn't aggravate my eyes. I have been using Clinique's Acne Solutions Soap just for fun for a few months and I am in love with it. My Dr. gave me such a good tip that I had never heard and it sounds kind of genius. After I wash my face with whatever I'm washing it with, wash my eyes with baby shampoo, you know the kind that is as gentle to eyes as tears. This way you remove all potentially irritating residue and it also helps with flakiness. I have used this method once and so far so good. It just makes really god sense to me and I wonder why I hadn't come across this tip years ago! She also gave me oral steroids to knock this out right now so I will probably gain 100 pounds in the next 5 days; but at least my eyes will be clear:)

I also read online about how products that contain NEEM are really good for issues like this. No, I do not know what that is but I bought some at the natural foods store anyway. It does feel soothing but greasy so I will use it at night. We'll see if continued use will keep this tom-foolery at bay. I also read that Egyptian magic was excellent for an issues like this too but I couldn't find any and anyway the pictures I saw of it has it in a super ugly package that I certainly don't want sitting on my vanity. Hopefully the baby shampoo and NEEM will fix everything right up.

Merry Christmas Y'all!!

Makeup Alley

2009-12-24T10:31:00.001-08:00

If anyone hasn't visited www.makeupalley.com, do so immediately! Not only are there thousands of reviews of makeup, skincare, body care, hair care, etc. but, my favorite part, there is a swap section. Here's how it works. You make a WISH LIST of cosmetics/skin care etc. that you want. You also make a swap list of items that you have that you want to swap for items on your wish list. There is an autofind and a reverse autofind feature that locates items on your wish list or people who have items on your swap list on their wish lists. Everyone describes their items in detail, some used, some new, then you just send an email to the person you want to swap with. GENIUS!!

As a former makeup artist I definitely had a few qualms about this in terms of hygiene. However, as long as you stay away from certain items, you should be fine as far as germs go. I would NEVER trade mascara, lip gloss of any kind (wand/tube), or any other liquid makeup unless it was brand new and never opened. I promise you don't want to mess around with those germs. However, makeup brushes, eye shadows, blushes, cream blushes, and lipsticks can easily be cleaned with a quick spray of alcohol when you receive it. Poof, no more germs! Oh, don't spray brushes with alcohol though, use a brush cleaner. Fragrances obviously don't pose a germ problem.

When I went through my quite ridiculously large inventory of makeup that isn't even on my vanity yet I found several eye shadows, foundations, foot soak (?, it's from Origins though), eye shadow bases, and just a bunch of other random things that I don't need right now and would rather trade for something I do want.

So check it out and Merry Christmas y'all!!

My Christmas Wishlist

2009-12-20T13:27:00.000-08:00

So, I clearly haven't posted in 8 months, woops! Now that I have a break and time to think about the important things in life (my skin care/fragrance/makeup Christmas list) I thought I'd share. This one might get long but I'd hate for anyone to miss out on some GREAT treats!!

- Lancome Blush: Shimmer Mocha Havana; I wear this over Tarte Blushing Bride = PERFECT

- Clinique 7-day scrub: I use this in the shower every day. It's amazing what daily exfoliation will do to refine your skin and stave away wrinkles

- Philosophy Amazing Grace EDP: sweet, soft, and YUM

- Gucci Envy Me EDP: for the sassafrass in fabulous girls!

- Vera Wang The Fragrance: I wore this on my wedding day, such happy memories. Sweet and innocent, just like me;)

- Benefit Georgia radiance powder (blush): perfect peach blush/highlighter. Perfect over Tarte Tipsy

- Sephora Collector's Edition Fragrance Sampler, for when I just can't decide! Juicy Couture EDP, Ralph Lauren Romance EDP, Marc Jacobs Daisy EDT, Givenchy Very Irresistible EDT, Stella McCartney Stella EDP, DKNY Be Delicious EDT...$75!!!!!

- Sephora Glitz & Glam Shimmer and Shine Deluxe Sampler: Tarte Celebutante Dry Oil Shimmer Spray, Smashbox Artificial Light Luminizing Lotion in Flash, Tarte Glam Gams, Tarte Lock & Roll in Bronze, Guerlain Meteorites Powder Pearls in Beige Chic, Tarte Cheek Stain in Eco-Chic, Sephora Super Shimmer in Desert Gold, Laura Geller Blush-n-Brighten in Sunswept, Smashbox Eyeshadow in 24K, Laura Geller Lip Shiner in City Lights...get ready, wait for it...$38!!!!!!!

- Dior 5-color iridescent Eyeshadow

- NARS Doe Lipgloss Trio

- Tarte Three Carat mini-cheek stain

- Clinique Blushwear Cream Stick in Glow Blush

Do I need any of this? NO. Do I want all of this? YES. That's what is so fun about Christmas, getting happies that you don't need but really want. I also greatly enjoy making online wish lists and generally end up with seven or eight different ones not to mention the individual items I email to various gift givers. To sum up my makeup obsession for the year in two words: shimmer and cheek stains. OK, I guess that's three words. I am all over shimmer powder, highlighters, shimmer lotions, and iridescent anything. Like my friend Holly said, I am like a magpie, if I see any thing that sparkles, I want it! I am also obsessed with cream blushes and cheek stains. My oily skin tends to push off powder blushes but when I put a check stain underneath I can created limitless custom color combinations and my blush stays on all day looking fab. Merry Christmas and have a beautiful New Year!!!

Self-Tanners

2009-04-26T10:06:00.000-07:00

For those of us in the white (florescent see-through) club, self tanners are a must. I can not even look outside without getting sunburned. Even when I bathe in sunscreen, which I always do, I also always have a strap that moves or a tiny spot on the ear that gets missed and ends up blistering. Considering my aversion to the actual sun and inability to get a tan, self tanners are my summer ritual. I, unfortunately, also have a problem putting tinted self-tanning products on. I always get tanned palms no matter how much I wash and I find it impossible to get the product everywhere leaving amazingly gorgeous white spots. A fun side effect of being see-through.

Considering the foregoing, I really like moisturizers that gradually develop a tan over time. I put them on at night and in a few days I can wear a skirt or dress without shame. When I do use straight-up self tanners, I always mix them with lotion which prevents tanned palms and it keeps my legs from going from a white factor of 0 to a tan factor of 10 which looks ridiculous and obvious. I hope we all know that tan legs look thinner and draw less attention which is always what I'm going for. one last important thing to remember, don't use cheap self-tanners! You WILL turn orange and look ridiculous, pretty much guaranteed. Some good tan-developing moisturizers to try are Clinique Self Sun Body Daily Moisturizer (comes in two tones which is nice). If you insist on using a self-tanner some good ones to try are Clarins Instant Self-tanning gel (the tint lets you see where it's being applied) and Lancôme Flash Bronzer Self-Tanning Body Spray. There are also some fun products that you can use in a pinch to get glowing like Tarte Glam Gams Leg Bronzing Stick and Michael Kors Leg Shine To Go

Highlighters

2009-04-26T09:56:00.000-07:00

Adding shimmer can be a fun way to spice things up for a night out. We're not talking Bonnie Belle glitter here, we're talking finely micronized shimmer powders and creams that give a little extra glow. Shimmer can be added to the cheekbones, the inner corners of the eye, and the centers of the lids. I also like to add a little above the lids, about halfway out then frame the outer part of the eye to lighten up the area. Powder highlighters are best for the eye area and you can use either powder or cream for the cheeks. Some people use the shimmer on the middle of the lower lip but I think that just look tacky! Benefit (High Beam, Lust Dusters), Nars (The Multiple in Copacabana), and MAC (Glitter, Iridescent Powder/Loose in Silver Dusk) have some nice choices.

Sara Claire & Esther Trunk Show in Birmingham...better late than never!

2009-04-25T12:13:00.000-07:00

I have put this post off for too long now but here's the exciting news...Sara Claire & Esther is having a trunk show in Birmingham! Tuesday night (4/28/2009) @ 5 pm, downtown at The Wine Loft. We can all shop their Fall line and pay wholesale...YAY! They will also have a few of their Spring items available as well. This line is gorgeous..."Vintage Reimagined" and we are lucky to get to see and buy a few pieces to support this soon to be well known and wildly respected fashion line. Check out my older post for more info on the line.

Also, check out their fabulous website...www.saraclaireandesther.com!

If you can't make the trunk show, here is a list of current retailers where you can check out the goods: (note the Southernness of it all, LOVE IT!)

	Effie's, Tuscaloosa , AL
	Savvy Rags, Gadsden , AL
	We One You Too, Washington , D.C.
	Chattabox, Baton Rouge , LA
	Tuni's, Winter Park FL

	www.eDressMe.com

Lush...Fresh Homemade Cosmetics

2009-04-05T18:29:00.000-07:00

OK, I have a new obsession, Lush. Bath & Body products made from organic fruits and veggies, all vegetarian ingredients, no animal testing, and all handmade! They have lots of different products but my favorites so far are the bath bombs and the soaps. The bath bombs are balls of yummy fragrance and skin detoxifiers that fizz in the bath...think alka seltzer. The fragrances are amazingly rich and also fun with choices like "All That Jasmine," Vanilla Fountain," and "Youki-Hi" (jasmine and ylang ylang). Some of them have treats inside them like dried flowers and even glitter! Might create a mess in the tub but definitely worth it! Talk about the perfect gift for all the ladies in your life...here you go...www.lushusa.com. Visit the site...order bath bombs...fall in love:)

But that's not all folks, they also have hair products and lotions (they also have skincare but we all know how I feel about Clinique, I'm not a cheater...), which I haven't tried, and handmade soaps, which I have tried, that I also love! The soaps are SO pretty, another great gift idea, and smell as delicious as the bath bombs. I tried the "Honey, I Washed the Kids" soap that has an amazing honey scent and soothes upset, sensitive skin like mine. There is another soap called "Porridge Soap" that I'm looking forward to trying. It has oats in it so your exfoliating and cleansing at the same time, got to love that, right?!

Estee Lauder Free Gift

2009-04-02T12:27:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to give everyone a heads-up that Belk is having an Estee Lauder free gift right now with any $27.50 purchase. It's a pretty good gift for the EL fans out there. The gift has a beautiful step-up bag and comes with two travel bags, a choice of lip-stick and eyeshadow shades, "Take It Away" makeup remover, mascara, and Daywear Plus moisturizer. Now I'm not the giantest EL fan in the world but their Double Wear Foundation is pretty awesome and their Pure Color Crystal Gloss is a favorite! Also, my favorite blush in the ENTIRE world comes from EL: Peach Nuance Tender Blush. Any fair skinned ladies out there, I recommend it highly!

Favorite Perfumes

2009-03-29T10:38:00.000-07:00

I LOVE PERFUME! I love all kinds. I love smelling delicious. I love the cutie bottles. I love everything about it! Here are some of my favorites, directly from my Sephora "My Favorites" list.

Armani Codee Pour Femme: fruity but still rich with a bit of woody and vanilla undertones...YUM! Per Sephora it's Fresh. Sexy. Feminine.
Juicy Couture: fruity, again, but with rose undertones...YUM! Per Sephora it's Flirtatious. Romantic. Precious.
Gucci Envy Me: floral, peppery, musky...YUM! Sephora says it's Daring. Sexy. Arresting.
Yves Saint Laurent Baby Doll: an oldie but a goodie! Warm floral...YUM! Per Sephora it's Precocious. Beautiful. Enthralling.
Lacoste Touch of Pink: Herby, vanilla, rich and warm...YUM! 3 useless adjectives from Sephora: Whimsical. Daring. Captivating.
Philosophy Amazing Grace: graceful and clean!
Estee Lauder Pleasures Delight: near Perfection!!!!
Tiffany's Sheer Tiffany (PERFECTION!)...it hurts me to talk about this but I'll see if I can try. It was discontinued a long time ago but it's the best fragrance I've ever smelled in my life! I LOVE Sheer Tiffany. Sometimes I smell the remnants of my empty bottle and want to cry...well, maybe not that dramatic but I love it and am SO sad it's gone forever. I don't want to be mad at Tiffany's but I AM! How could they do this to me?! While I love these other fragrances nothing can stand up to this one!

Taco Bell...a Classy Establishment

2009-03-28T11:11:00.001-07:00

True story...yesterday I popped in to Taco Bell to get my usual 8 Weight Watcher's point bean burrito and Diet Pepsi. I had to wait forever and while I was waiting there was an unfortunate looking woman getting a drink running around like a chicken with it's head cut off! Understandably, I kept my distance. A construction working gentleman went up to the drink machine and was staring, like everyone else in the place, at the unexplainable craziness. It was shortly explained. The woman leaned over the the construction worker and said something along the lines of, "my meth high is wearing off." Not that this alone is not an amazingly hilarious story but here's the best part...the man leaned over to her and said "me too." I kid you not, I saw this with my own eyes and heard it with my own ears. Classy...only at Taco Bell (well, maybe at Captain D's too.)

The Twilight Obsession Continues...

2009-03-21T21:49:00.001-07:00

Today's the day, the day that Twilight comes out on DVD. Are we all celebrating? Anybody...no? I'm salivating, does that count? I hurried my little self to Target to pick up the 18 disk special feature galore super-fest edition this morning and snagged the last one (OK, there were about 200 still left but it's so much more dramatic if I had to wrestle a small child to the ground for Edward...I'll do it, trust me). OK, let's be honest here, Twilight sucks. Every thing about it sucks but it just so happens that the most perfect character in the history of "literature" appears in it...an interesting concept. The books are so predictable and poorly written and the movie is almost as bad...spider-monkey anyone? yet I keep reading, watching it. It IS like my own personal brand of heroin! Until I watched the movie again I didn't realize how dreamy Carlisle was...Edward #2 perhaps. If it weren't for that pesky Edward Cullen I wouldn't have anything to do with this pop-culture non-sense that is Twilight but I can't help it, I LOVE him. I really do, like I LOVE Colin Firth, Alan Rickman, and James McAvoy...true love. Although the previous three happen to be real and Edward Cullen happens not to be...hmmm. I will watch this mediocre movie and read of Isle Esme until this deep obsession passes.

Note: I am not 13. I am a fully grown, professional woman with a doctorate degree. Is there a problem with me or with Twilight?

The Best Clinique Lip Looks

2009-03-20T18:13:00.001-07:00

It is no secret that I adore most things Clinique, especially their lip liners, lipsticks, and glosses. I thought I'd do a public service and list some of my favorite combos. I am never without a liner and combine it with either just a lipstick or just a gloss or using both.

Bright Pink: Crushed Berry Liner, Raspberry Glace Lipstick, Watermelon Lipstick, Extreme Pink Lipstick, Raspberry Superbalm, Cabana Crush Long Last Glosswear SPF 15

Subdued Pink: Soft Rose Liner, Bamboo Pink Lipstick, Bamboo Pink Long Last Glosswear SPF 15, Apricot Superbalm

Non-obnoxious Red: Deep Red Liner, Angel Red Lipstick, Red-y To Wear Lipstick, Juicy Apple Long Last Glosswear SPF 15

I've already written an entire entry about my obsession with nude lips...I LOVE LIP COLOR!!!

Why Didn't I Marry Russel Simmons?

2009-02-27T13:32:00.000-08:00

I should have gone into the business of marrying ridiculously rich men, having lots of their children, then divorcing them! Russell Simmons and Kimora Lee Simmons (that moron who's friends with Tyra Banks, honestly, I don't know what she does...oh yeah, that stupid ugly clothing line Baby Phat) divorce was finalized yesterday. He will pay her $40,000/month in "child support" (seriously!) and, this is the best part, he has to buy a vehicle worth at least $60,000 every three years until his children are 16! Why, oh, why didn't I marry him when he asked!?!?!?!

Midnight Sun

2009-02-27T08:31:00.000-08:00

Now I've never done crack but I imagine it to be very much life reading the Twilight series. I sped through the first book and was hooked (first one's always free!..I borrowed it from a friend). Then I trudged through New Moon and Eclipse which both were painful reads. Stephanie Meyer has come up with a very addictive story but the writing leaved much to be desired. Perhaps she's writing for a strictly teenage audience but I would think that JK Rowling would have been too and her writing doesn't seem simplified and predictable like the second and third Twilight books were. After reading New Moon I didn't think it could get worse but the whole Jacob addition and exploration in Eclipse was ridiculous...I literally could not care less about that story line. Meyer created the perfect character in Edward and trying to create a foil for him just seems pointless.

That being said, Breaking Dawn was one of the most satisfying books I have ever read. Having been teased for three books I was ready for all the action in BD. It's like clean vampire porn...interesting turn of phrase but true! I have read the good parts over and over again. In my book Stephanie Meyer has redeemed herself for the ridiculousness of New Moon and Eclipse in Breaking Dawn, totally worth it!

If you don't know, there has been a big giant controversy with the fifth book, Midnight Sun. There were very few unfinished, unedited copies distributed and they were, of course, leaked online and Stephanie Meyer went nuts! Although I don't blame her, I would have too! She was "over" the project and at one point said it was on hold indefinitely. Let me just say, I can't handle that! I did read, however, that she has reconsidered and Midnight Sun is her next project...here's hoping. Here's why I REALLY love Stephanie Meyer, to answer all the hub-bub she posted the incomplete manuscript on her website so fans wouldn't be tricked by impostors. Thank you Stephanie Meyer!!! Midnight Sun is a rewriting of Twilight from Edward's perspective. I have read around 100 pages of it and it is YUMMY! I'm sure I will finish it this afternoon. I hate reading online but I don't mind making an exception for this! Please Stephanie Meyer...finish Midnight Sun and rewrite all the books from Edward's perspective. You can go ahead and leave Jacob out though...no one cares!

The Changeling

2009-02-27T08:14:00.000-08:00

SPOILER ALERT...I'm going to talk about details! WOW, I watched The Changeling a few days ago and am still thinking about it. Angie Jo said in an interview that if it wasn't a true story no one would believe it and I completely agree. About thirty minutes in I told my husband that it was the most gripping story I'd come across in a long time. Amazing!!! A changeling is traditionally a child believed to have been exchanged by fairies for the parents real child, except in this case it was the LAPD, not fairies...I won't even go there! After I watched the movie I read online to find out more about the true story which I actually think is a bit more intriguing that the movie portrays.

Gordon Northcott, the serial killer that, is seems, most likely killed Walter Collins, didn't have the exact relationship with his cousin as portrayed in the movie. Actually the cousin character was his nephew whom he and his mother kidnapped from Canada, sexually abused, held prisoner, and made him participate in the murders. Under oath Mrs. Northcott claimed that she was not Gordon's mother but really his grandmother...the result of incest between her husband and her daughter although the daughter denies any incest. Both Mrs. Northcott and Gordon at one time or another confessed to the murder of Walter Collins but both also recanted that confession. I wonder why the mother wasn't included in the film? It makes the serial killings even more sadistic that a mother and son were participating in them together and I think would have added even more dimension to this movie.

Many online reviewers spoke of their disdain for Angie Jo (I didn't know so many people hated her!) but after seeing her in Girl, Interrupted, I can't ever question her acting abilities. Many of the reviewers said that her lips were so big that they were distracted throughout the entire movie. Isn't it funny that someones lips can be so big that many different people can not enjoy a film because of it? Didn't bother me though. What did bother me, just slightly, was her emotional range in the movie. There seemed to be a level 1 and a level 10 for 99% of the movie, incredible extremes, with very few in between moments. It made for a roller coaster experience more than a progression which was a bit tiring after a while.

Despite my few concerns with the acting though, the story was so compelling and intriguing that it sucked me in. I wish I had discovered this story, this would have made a great History Dissertation!

A Few Thoughts on the Oscars...

2009-02-22T17:47:00.000-08:00

As I'm crying now with the format of the Best Supporting Actress winner Penelope Cruz who looks AMAZING!!! I have to put in a few thoughts. Plus, let me get in there that Hugh Jackman is the best host EVER! That opening was delicious, hilarious, and completely charming!

Angie's emerald's OMGOSH, I hope I get a closer look later. And what a surprise, she was wearing black. Newsflash Angie...it's getting old! Apparently SJ Parker thought this was costume party and dressed up as Glinda the Good Witch. It hurts me to say that about SJP but seriously! And who knew that Survivor was having a celebrity edition starring Amy Adams? Not me! Why the necklace Amy...WHY???

Let's talk about age inappropriateness Miley Cyrus and Vanessa Anne Hudgens. MC looks like a mermaid ate a bunch of Swarovski crystals then threw up on her and I'm questioning if Charlize Theron could even pull off that Haute Couture VAH is dressing up in. Why is she at the Oscar's anyway? Wait...her performance in High School Musical 3 was life changing, I had forgotten...right.

Not that I'm surprised but I was again so embarrassed for Mr. Valentino, as I am every time he leaves his spray-tan booth, that he is now certifiably made of pure keratin. Apparently Sophia Loren has been sharing the spray-tan booth with Valentino. So unfortunate. Jessica Biel needs to crawl back in to the doghouse from whence she came...WOOF! It's hard to make her look good anyway but her shiny white dress isn't helping matters. Maybe she's trying to slip Justin Timberlake a not-so-subtle tip that she's ready to get married. Was Brittany Spears worse...I honestly don't know!?

Rob Pattinson takes my breath away. My greatest excitement of the night is knowing that he had taken a shower beforehand...I was really nervous about this but he came through for me, YAY! Mouth-wateringness! Speaking of cleanliness, Ben Stiller as Joaquin Phoenix was perfection, although he was actually more engaged than JP really was on Letterman, interesting. Apparently Adrian Brody is working on his own Joaquin Phoenix impression...gross! Speaking of Mickey Rourke...when they were yapping about his nomination I was looking to other way because I couldn't watch the tainted television then I truly realized the genius of this broadcast. The Oscar people sat Rob Pattinson right behind Crazy Rourke so that I could gaze into his loveliness while they yapped on and on about Crazy Rourke. Genius!

I would like to personally thank Natalie Portman for wearing a color! She looked lovely in pink and I really appreciated the fact that she wasn't wearing black or some shade of nude. That's gets old too! Even though I'm over the neutral colors in dresses this year, I'm completely loving Natalie's neutral makeup, she was perfection tonight! Another pleasant surprise was Alicia Keys in a gorgeous lavender number...loved it! Let's remember who we're talking about here...this girl is not a fashionista by any stretch of the word but some stylist somewhere made her look remarkably incredible. WOW!

Is Amanda Seyfried going to the prom later? Another question for her...are you wearing the same dress as Jessica Biel but in red? Both dresses are bordering on the ugliest things I have ever had the misfortune to lay my eyes on but the fact that they are so similar and worn by such homely actresses makes me giggle.

I AM SO MAD! I was excited that they were doing a movie musical montage until I realized who the talentless hag singing was...Beyonce...I quit this mess! ARGH, it's getting worse! The tards from High School Musical...so that's why they let them in...ah ha! I also just realized that Joel Grey, my personal king of Broadway, had to have been backstage during that hot mess. Joel Grey, I apologize that you had to witness that...I apologize to myself that I had to witness that.

I wouldn't have thought that Queen Latifah and Reese Witherspoon would be in the same category in my stream of consciousness here but they do share a common thread on Oscar night...they both look like shiny gift-wrapped blueberries! Reese, what are you doing to me here?!!! I do want to put Reese in another category with someone else, that category is...dresses that look better from the back. The other member of that illustrious group is Kate Winslet. Kate wasn't horrible but better from the back (that's what she said! HA!). And Reeze, please explain the blue eyeshadow and middle-part in your hair...I don't understand. Seriously, I don't understand.

Best dressed of the night: Marion Cotillard

Worst Dressed: hard one to call...everyone wearing a mermaid skirt w/train...Tilda Swinton, Whoopie Goldberg (did she attack a cheetah on the way in?), Sophia Loren, Amy Adams (it hurts me, it really does)

Finally, Congratulations Kate Winslet...you should have won for Titanic!!!

Maybe I'm Just Not That Into Him!!!

2009-02-21T20:20:00.001-08:00

OK, so I somewhat reluctantly went to see He's Just Not That Into You tonight with a friend and it was one of the worst expenditure of 2 hours I've made in a long time. Not only was I offended by the title/plot of this movie but there were some fashion/makeup/hair choices I also just could not abide.

Plot problems: SPOILER ALERT! Where are these women's backbones and self respect? WHERE? Not in this movie, that's for sure! Apparently the message of this movie is that guys can dish out whatever they want, treat women/girlfriends/wives however they want and get away with it if the either a) love you, or b) marry you (with a few exceptions). I was waiting for some of these women to just let these guys have it but it never happened. V. disappointing. I was looking for some sort of "we don't need men to be happy" message but that must have been in another theater...maybe in Medea Goes To Jail. I also take offense to the title/plot because it doesn't leave any room for "the guy is retarded" or "the guy is lazy" or "the guy isn't worth being in a relationship anyway!" I take the point, I guess, but this movie seems to be doing a lot of blaming and finger pointing towards women and letting the guys get away with behavior, if directed at me, would induce a serious beating on my part. Perhaps with a baseball bat, maybe a metal one in a few instances. I just wanted to puke when Ben Afleck who's been acting like a complete a-hole the entire movie asks Jennifer Anniston to marry him and she gushes and says "yes" and the entire audience, save me of course, either giggled or cheered. What?! He's getting away with everything because he said "will you marry me?" That's crap!

Now to my real issues with the movie. Gennifer Goodwin, whom I usually adore, was her adorable self, even if her role was v. pathetic, but she was wearing purple nail polish the entire movie. Purple nail polish! I thought I was hallucinating at first but unfortunately no, I was not mistaken that she combined black and navy blue in more than one outfit...not OK. No wonder she can't get a guy!

Jennifer Connolly's wardrobe consisted entirely of button-up shorts under sweaters, with one exception, again literally the entire movie. OK, I get the conservative serious persona but can't we change it up a little, it's repetitive and boring! Along the boring conservative lines was also a makeup problem. They went a little too far in making it look like she wasn't wearing makeup that I really don't think she had enough on and she just came off looking homely, it was kind of sad because it's hard to make Jennifer Connolly look homely, although easier now that she hasn't eaten anything in several years...the girl is SKINNY!

Jennifer Anniston has her long straight hair (as always) in this movie but it is weirdly pulled back to the side with bobby pins and cutsie little clips in very strange ways throughout the movie...just one side. Couldn't we cut some bangs or tuck behind our ear? Why didn't they just give her a big scrunchy to tie the whole thing up with? If we're going to be tacky, let's go all the way! Also, getting back to the plot, I wanted to puke again at the NUMEROUS jokes that were made at JenAn's expense because she wasn't married or in a relationship. Get a grip people, are we still living in an age where it's OK to make jokes at peoples expense because they aren't in a relationship? I am in one and I STILL find that offensive. Probably hit a little close to home for her anyway!

I just realized everyone in this movie is named Jennifer (or some derivative thereof)!

Drew Barrymore continued her hippy flower-child nonsense yet again here. Lots of ridiculous braids in the hair and flowy hippy shirts and every word out of her mouth was just general ridiculousness! She also had this weird misplaced gay posse around her that I consider offensive to both hippys and well as gays! Plus, on the big screen her age is really showing...her skin looked HORRIBLE! I really wanted to close my eyes at the close-ups.

So He's Just Not That Into You...maybe I'm Just Not That Into Him!!!!

Yet Another Kitchen Disaster

2009-02-10T16:08:00.000-08:00

Until recently (think rum cake) I thought that I was fairly adept in the kitchen department...cooking I mean, not in the actual department at Macy's, I'm good there too though. Tonight I was going to try yet another culinary masterpiece for dinner. Yes, I had been gone all day working and schooling but, darn it, I was going to make dinner for my husband and myself. A friend (questioning this now:) had recommended a way to make omelette that was fool-proof (HA!) and delicious. Place the ingredients in a zip-lock bag, shake, and boil for 13 minutes. "Great idea" I thought. Little did I consider that I buy the cheap-o bargain bags at the Dollar General and that these might not hold up as well in boiling water for 13 minutes. Confirmation...the cheap-o bargain bags from the Dollar General DO NOT hold up well in boiling water. In fact, they don't hold up at all...they melt! I found this little tid-bit out when I looked over and saw/smelled egg/cheese water boiling over the pot all over and into my stove. AHHHH! I wasted large amounts of money-costing groceries that turned into a water/egg/ham/turkey/cheese soup because I was trying to "save money." When am I going to learn that "saving money" rarely turns out well?

The Master Cleanse

2009-01-30T12:51:00.000-08:00

As I write this, I am just this side of death. I have crawled out of the house to take care of responsibilities today twice and crawled as quickly back to the couch as possible. This sad sad story is all due to THE MASTER CLEANSE, or as I'm calling it from now on, THAT DETOX THING THAT MADE ME REALLY SICK!

Per usual, when I heard that celebrities were doing "cleanses" I jumped on board without thinking, like I said, as I do with most things. If you want to follow in my not-so-fabulous-right-now footsteps here's what you do: 1) Spend $15 on the Master Cleanse book after looking for it in Barnes and Noble for thirty minutes, being too embarrassed to ask for it, then make your best friend get the twenty year old guy who works at B&N to find the book and tell you what a bad idea it is (note to self: do not underestimate the B & N employee's wisdom), 2) head straight to health food store and spend $35 on cayenne pepper, organic maple syrup, lemon juice, uniodized sea salt, and the value size container of herbal laxative (yes, that's what I said.), 3) proceed immediately home and take three herbal laxatives like the book says (container says to take one) and go to bed hungry, 4) wake up...use your imagination from here folks...drink a "salt water bath - quart of salt water and proceed...imagination again required, 5) feel weak and grumpy all day and drink lots of "lemonade" made with the maple syrup, cayenne pepper, and lemon juice (actually not that bad going in), 6) wake up next day weak, shaky, and unable to concentrate and head out of house, 7) think about McDonald's for an hour then purchase $15 of McD's breakfast, eat all within 30 minutes, and...use your imagination again.

I feel that there is way too much information in this post but I needed to get out in the Universe that clearly sanctioned anorexia is not for all people. I am going to embrace the fact that I am incredibly toxic on the inside, probably harbouring all sorts of destructive parasites, and that my internal PH is very acidic. I don't feel that acidic so it mustn't be that bad!

Diva Alert, Diva Alert!

2009-01-24T12:08:00.000-08:00

If you haven't heard, Patti Lupone is a hard-core diva. I knew that when she started her run in Gypsy on Broadway that Harvey Firestein would send her ridiculous back-stage presents (like a bouquet of cacti) to get her engines running which I think is hilarious but when she takes "it" out on the public, I have to call out the ridiculouslness. Please take the time to check out the following youtube.com video. It KILLS me, one of the funniest things I've seen today! Also, please note the Juliard degree is in the field of DIVA...HA!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5Wh6DAFpW4

Stacy Ferguson is NOT the Dutchess of York

2009-01-07T07:58:00.000-08:00

If I were Sarah Ferguson, The Dutchess of York, ex-wife of Prince Andrew, I would be so horrified and possibly take legal action against the celebutard (in every sense of the word) Stacy Ferguson, i.e. Fergie, i.e. The Dutchess, for stealing my legally given aristocratic title and forcing me to be associating with such rubbish.

Stacy Ferguson is from the Black Eyed Peas, in case you didn't know. Still don't know? You may remember her as the singer who peed in her pants at a concert and continued singing. Oh the class. Sarah Ferguson on the other hand is a former princess, the actual Dutchess of York, and former best friend of Princess Diana...need I say more? I have been horrified by "Fergie" going by The Dutchess for so long now and I just can't understand how Sara Ferguson puts up with it. Fergie even has a song called "Fergilicious." That's not a word and it's not even a funny or cute made up one! It is just SO stupid I can barely force my fingers to fly across the keyboard as I write this. How embarassing for Sarah Ferguson, the real Dutchess. She is so classy and refined and Stacy Ferguson is, well, not.

Jeremy Piven is a Thermometer!

2009-01-07T07:51:00.000-08:00

I'll admit I don't care who Jeremy Piven is or why he is appearing in my magazines but when you mess with Broadway, you mess with me too! The "official" story is that Piven had to leave the Broadway play Speed-the-Plow due to "shocking levels" of mercury in his system due to his sushi addiction. This is laughable on so many levels I don't know where to begin. Word on the street (which I find is usually correct) though is that before his Mercury OD he was bored with the show and looking for a replacement. So Jeremy Piven is not grateful for the Broadway show he gets to be a part of, is that it? He is so ridiculous! The main reason I'm writing about this silliness is a quote by the writer, David Mamet re: the Mercury "scare." "It is my understanding that he is leaving show business to pursue a career as a thermometer." I mightn't have ever heard anything so funny in my life. I have to see this play now, if it's filled with nuggets like this I'm sure to be laughing my butt off the entire time!

Turnaround...every now and then I get a little (less flakey)

2008-12-22T09:50:00.000-08:00

Clinique has a Turnaround line of products that I am completely obsessed with. Turnaround Concentrate Visible Skin Renewer, Turnaround Body Smoothing Cream, Turnaround Instant Facial, and Turnaround Radiance Peel Once-a-Week System. I have used Turnaround Concentrate for over a year now and it is perfection. On the face it makes your skin feel like silk, the feeling is unreal and addictive. It has salicylic acid in it which is perfect for my oilier skin. I put this on after my three step in the morning and I rarely have to touch up my makeup during the day whereas before using this, I would have to use oil blotting sheets and pressed powder several times a day.

All the Turnaround products, save the peel, continuously exfoliate your skin, that's what gives the radiant look. These products, again save the peel, are great for all skin types. Continuous exfoliation keeps breakouts at bay, keeps flakies at bay, and gives the skin an amazing glowing look. The Instant Facial is replacing the Turnaround 15-minute facial, I guess 15 minutes was just too long to wait, and it mimics in-office microdermabrasion. This stuff is amazing...it takes off any dead skin cell that every thought of being on your face; but surprisingly, not in a harsh way. The Instant Facial leaves your skin looking radiant (again!) and fresh, it's addictive too. The Body Smoother and Peel just came out. I haven't used the Peel yet but I hear it's perfect for those addicted to exfoliation, like me. It's a bit pricey at $55 but I'm going to use my Belk rewards dollars towards the kit after Christmas! Merry Christmas to me! The Body Smoother is so yummy. It's a blessing for feet but I also love it on my hands and arms at night. I can't wait until summer when short sleeves and sleeveless are more realistic....my arms are going to be glowing!

Thanks Clinique for making me glow like a Cullen (without those nasty other "side-effects" required to glow like a Cullen!)

Rum Cake Disaster or Failed Southern Belle

2008-12-19T18:42:00.000-08:00

It's my husbands birthday today and, for the second year running, he wanted a rum cake (FYI, do not use candles on Rum Cake!). Last years cake was a complete disaster. I followed the recipe exactly and ended up with a bundt cake with the better part of a bottle of liquor poured over it, completely disgusting, like taking shots of too moist cake, gross. But Husband loves me and ate it nonetheless. I don't think it was to make me feel better, I think he was drunk (from the cake...I made my husband drunk from cake!).

It's 2008, time to make a fresh start with the rum cake idea. Why, oh why can't he want a Funfetti cake with matching icing, that I can make?! I searched online for the best recipe and found one that had been reviewed 507 times with either 4 or 5 stars and every reviewer said it was the best cake they ever had...blah, blah, blah. "This will be the perfect run cake for my wonderful husband's birthday," I though. Ha, ha. We just ate it for dinner. My tongue is numb from the high alcohol content and I feel a little queasy. Just like last year I followed the recipe to a T, basically. I didn't have any vegetable oil so I used peanut oil. Bad idea. It tasted like what I would imagine a Thai rum cake tasting like...not good. Secondly, I didn't have butter for the glaze so I used margarine...again, bad idea. The glaze had no buttery flavor but, AGAIN DANG IT, it tasted like shooting rubbing alcohol.

Why can't I make a rum cake? If Scarlett O'hara can make one of the greatest dresses of all time out of stupid curtains I should be able to make a rum cake! What does this debacle say about me as a person, as a Southern Belle? Failure I'm afraid...this is v. depressing.

Eva Mendes Has Amazing Style, or Stylist More Likely)

2008-12-19T07:04:00.000-08:00

Calvin Klein

Jenni Kayne

Calvin Klein

Michael Kors

Bill Blass

I'm not sure if I could name a movie or television show Eva Mendes has been in but I'll tell you where she has been...in my fashion magazines! This girls got it going on. Her style is amazing and her stylist (I'm assuming) has recently picked out some of the most gorgeous red carpet dresses I have seen in a long time. How fortunate for Eva they all appear on her body! I find it very interesting that her stylist Estee Stanly is also the stylist for the Olsen twins, Demi Moore, Jessica Biel considering that most of them look trashy most of the time. Do I really have to go there with the Olsens? Yes, yes, homeless bag lady couture, we get it. No, seriously, we get it. It wasn't cute then, isn't cute now, but they occasionally pull off the upset gorgeous outfit, you can't deny they are gorgeous girls...the end. Jessica Biel on the other hand is incredibly unfortunate looking and seems to be the dress up doll for Stanley. Even with a great body and, I suppose some would say, hot boyfriend (JT), some people just aren't made for couture. She looks like Barbie trying to wear Chanel, it just doesn't work. Demi Moore, another homely specimen, does tend to pull it out on the red carpet but her casual "I'm married to Ashton Kutcher" look is horrid.

But way to go Estee Stanley...you've hit the nail on the head with Eva Mendez...keep the great looks coming!

Shoes Ugglier Than Uggs???

2008-12-05T16:53:00.001-08:00

Is it possible? YES, I've found them unfortunately. Imagine this horror, a combination of fuzzy UGG-ish boots and CROCS...AAAHHH!! I am so horrified by these "shoes" (it hurts me to even legitimize these monstrosities by calling them shoes) that I, again, will have to let pictures speak louder than words. I've got to go throw up from looking at these pictures anyway.

Jessica Simpson Has Lost Her Ever Loving Mind

2008-12-05T16:42:00.000-08:00

I know there are a lot of ways I could go with the title of this post, but I'm referring this time to her latest collection of shoes. I have formerly found some of her shoes to be fairly cute but the following examples I just can't tolerate. Seeing them in print is bad enough, I'm not sure what I would be forced to do should I encounter someone wearing them in person. Here are some of the worst offenders, pictures are worth a thousand words.

Eye Cream From Heaven!

2008-12-04T20:20:00.000-08:00

OK, this is gross but I know I'm not the only one out there with this problem: sometimes my eyes get goopy. Yes, I said it, goopy. I am absolutely fabulous but I get goopy eyes...oh, the humanity! Let me explain lest you misinterpret my use of the word goopy. At first I thought it was certain eye shadow colors but I have determined it is not eyeshadow but mascara that leaves me with the goop. When I have the goopy eyes my lids and under eye area swells, turns red, and itches like I've put on a poison ivy eye mask. There is actual goop coming out of the eye as well, it's completely disgusting but fun if you want to scare people by making them think you have pink eye. The technical term is, surprisingly, not goopy eyes, but contact dermatitis, and it sucks. Some people can develop sensitivities to cosmetics, skin care products, or even laundry detergent from what I understand. From my own research it seem that people can develop contact dermatitis in reaction to almost anything. Mascara in my case. Despite my love for Clinique, I've got to call them out on this one. I have tried and tried to convince myself and my eyes that it is not Clinique mascara that is the culprit but there really is no question anymore. Whenever I wear a Clinique mascara, doesn't matter the kind: high intensity, high impact, lash doubling, long pretty lashes, I get the goop and it just doesn't happen with my Lancome mascaras. Thank you Lancome for not attempting to blind me!

However, it is Clinique eye cream that saves the day. Hmmm, maybe that's the plan, give you eye goop then make the best de-goopifier out there. The miracle I'm referring to is All About Eyes. All About Eyes addresses dark circles and puffiness and is SO soothing to my goopy eyes. I use it every day for the dark circles and puffiness issues but when I've got the goop it makes my upset eyes calm down like nothing else. Thank you Clinique for making my eyes swell then soothing them like a dope fiend who has just scored another, desperately needed, hit. In dire emergencies I have also resorted to Clinique's Urgent Relief Cream from the Redness Solutions line. It's dermatologist tested hydrocortisone cream, basically, but it helps "get the red out" when I've got the goop and don't have the luxury of hiding in my house all day. I figure if it is dermatologist tested it probably won't blind me...

The Best Nude Lips

2008-12-03T16:04:00.000-08:00

I am a huge fan of a well done nude lip, a la Gweneth Paltrow and Jennifer Lopez. I recently purchased MAC's Adoring Carmine: 3 Neutral Lips set and I am totally in love! In the set are two gorgeous nude lipsticks in Soft Spot and Real Treasure and a mini Lipglass in My Dear. The biggest problem I've faced in my quest for the perfect nude lip is that all the ones I've tried (hundreds of liner/lipstick/gloss combos) over the years have always had too much color. They are either rosy or peach and I want a true nude. I have blond hair and incredibly fair skin and I was afraid the gig was up until I found these goodies from MAC. I also got a lip pencil in Oak which is incredibly perfect too! This is like finding the perfect black Gucci pumps or that sample sale where everything you want fits (HA!).

I do have some other recommendations for nude lips. I have not personally tried these but I have it on good authority they create a gorgeous lip also.

Lipsticks: Giorgio Armani Armani Silk No. 31, YSL Rouge Pur lipstick No. 132 in rosy beige, NARS Honolulu Honey, Stilla Emily, NARS Belle de Jour

Glosses: Clarins Instant Light Lip Perfector 02, Estee Lauder High Gloss in Ivory

Brandy/Moesha...Remember Her? Anyone? No, OK.

2008-12-01T10:27:00.000-08:00

I hate to even legitimize this celebutard (does she even qualify anymore?) by writing about her but she gave an interview to US Weekly that killed me and I had to share!

Here's the background, in 2001 she got knocked up by her then boyfriend...seems pretty par for the course these days, but anyway she said that they had been secretly married in July of 2001 so this baby wasn't a bastard, it was completely legit...how convenient. On a side note, Brandy was 22 at the time, I know it's hard to believe but were not talking about the actions of a 16 year old here. She even did a "documentary" for MTV about the birth of her totally legitimate child called Brandy: A Special Delivery...HA! Turns out that the two were never married, she made it all up! She did say they had a "spiritual union," yes, you are right Brandy, that is the same thing. Wink, wink.

Here are some of my favorite moments from this riotously funny article. When asked what her reaction was when she found out she was pregnant she replied, "I was afraid of the labor...it's gonna hurt so bad!" Commenting on why she lied she lets everyone know how sorry she is, "truly, truly sorry - like, a little bit of tears now." I am less concerned that she was unmarried and pregnant and more concerned with the state of her grammar, how disturbing! She went on to add, "our relationship was very real, but we weren't just legally married." Apparently she hasn't dated in over three years...at least her dating pool seems on to the fact that she is a mildly-retarded nut job! I am not making these things up, these are direct quotes from the article, I don't think I could make up such ridiculouness if I tried.

News From the Land of I Think Way Too Highly of Myself

2008-11-30T19:08:00.001-08:00

Rafaello Follieri, Anne Hathaway's former boyfriend does not like prison. Hmmm, what an insightful, well, insight Mr. Follieri. It's PRISON, not a private cabana on Ibiza! According to Follieri the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn is not up to his standards. "The food appears to be spoiled" and the bathroom has an "intolerable" smell. Additionally, the restroom is apparently rat-infested...HA! My favorite part of this story is that the warden says that he routinely eats the same food as the inmates and had never seen a rat in the Detention Center. Does this information tell us more about the warden of the Detention Center? Why is he eating inmate food, is it really that good? He couldn't make a sandwich at home with some unspoiled food? Maybe some peanut butter and jelly? Does the warden only get water except for tea or Cool-aid on Sundays? So he hasn't seen a rat, it's the small ones you have to be careful of....they are the ones carrying the plague! So there is plague in the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn...AAAHHH!!!! Look, I started a rumor, wasn't that fun?!

This picture cracks me up too, look how important he thinks he is!

There is some questionable lunch meat in my refrigerator and the cat's litter box definitely smells intolerable, can I get a transfer too?

Sephora Christmas Catalogue

2008-11-30T18:32:00.000-08:00

Every year I eagerly await the arrival of my Sephora Holiday catalogue. I can always count on Sephora to fill the catalogue with happiness and joy and makeup! Not just makeup but expensive makeup, the best kind. The more expensive the better I say (when I'm under the intoxicating influence of the Sephora Christmas catalogue). The makeup on the models in the catalogue is intoxicating, I need to know who their makeup artist is, they are very creative! There are several items I am particularly excited about this year and I want to spread the love to those who aren't getting the Sephora catalogue (go to their website and order one immediately!)

This year I am so excited about palettes. I'm not talking a few colors in a compact palette but more like a train case filled with fabulousness...who doesn't want that?! There are two, in particular, that I am currently coveting, the Sephora Blockbuster palette and the Too Faced World Domination Tour Set. The Blockbuster palette has 84 eye shadows (!!!), 60 lip colors (!!!), 6 blushes and powders, and eye liner, lip liner, and 7 brushes and, here's the best, most ridiculous part, it's only $48! How do they do that? Not that I don't already have 84+ eye shadows but just the thought of having them all in one box is incredibly thrilling. I recently saw several palettes at the drug store but I know they are filled with crappy cosmetics, that is another reason I am so excited about the Sephora Blockbuster this year, I know that Sephora makes quality cosmetics that I would actually want to put on my face. I wonder how long it would take me to use 84 eye shadows and 60 lip colors?

The Too Faced World Domination Tour set is too cute not to mention. Where the Sephora set wins in the quantity department, the packaging is pretty no frills basic. The Too Faced set, on the other hand, wins in the cutest packaging EVER category. It looks like a music box from the 50's, complete with sassy dancer on spring at the top! It is $42 but only has 8 eye shadows, 6 glosses, 2 bronzers, and a few other things I'm not too excited about, but the box it's in completely makes up for the lack of cosmetics inside. I do have one Too Faced eyeshadow that I'm not in love with, but I am willing to give them a second chance, they have won me over with their packaging (oh, how easily I'm swayed!).

Sephora suggested it and I second the emotion that Philosophy has created the perfect hostess gift...the Philosophy Celebrate Bucket. It looks like a gallon of ice cream and it is filled with delicious shampoo, shower gel, and bubble bath in Pink Bubbly, Lavender Bubbly, and Pomegranate Bubbly flavors. YUM!!! Philosophy is one of my favorites and I love to share my favorite beauty products with friends. What better way to thank your hostess than this ice cream bucket filled with wonderfullness?! Philosophy has another set for the holidays that is filled with my favorite fragrance of theirs of all time...Amazing Grace. If you haven't smelled this one, I insist you get yourself to a Philosophy retailer immediately and sniff, you'll be totally addicted! There is a layering set for the holidays that includes a perfumed shimmer lotion (!!!), spray fragrance, and perfumed shampoo, body wash, and bubble bath. I'd layer this, maybe layer it twice!!!! Thank you Philosophy for making the yummiest bath products in the world, I am much obliged.

Maybe I don't even need Christmas presents, maybe the Sephora Christmas Catalogue is gift enough...oh wait, NO!

Twilight

2008-11-24T20:19:00.000-08:00

OK, I'll admit I had not heard of this until around three weeks ago but oh how quickly obsessions can develop! I read the first book and was smitten, I think it would be hard not to be. Then the movie. Left the theater approximately 1 hour and 20 minutes ago and I am still swooning. Edward was perfect...every thing was perfect...except Bella!

Could they have found a worse actress to play Bella? Possibly? Kristen Stewart...she looked and acted like a boy and is one of the worst actresses I have ever seen on screen. Also, I suspect her wardrobe was borrowed from a homeless person. It made Edward look stupid for liking her. Apparently her only asset is the way she smells but I'm not watching smellovision here folks! Honestly, she didn't look like she would smell that good anyway. My responses to Edward's swooniness in the seats of the theater were more authentic than hers were. I feel embarrassed for the poor girl at this point. It was like putting Zac Effron in Hairspray...can we say "out of our league?"

PS!!!!!!!!!! I just discovered through exhaustive Internet research that Edward, Robert Pattinson, played the hottie Cederic Diggory in Harry Potter!!! He was hot then and he's even hotter now! All of the descriptions in the Twilight book about Edward's otherworldly looks, how no human could be as beautiful as he is...Robert fits that bill plus some! I have a new celebrity crush! I will still keep my old celebrity crushes though, they are much older so I'm sure they won't mind. Do you mind Colin Firth, Alan Rickman, and James McAvoy? No, great! I'm not replacing you, I'm adding to your ranks, never fear, you'll always be my celebrity boyfriends. I also just realized that all my celebrity boyfriends are British. Coincidence? I think not.

UGG Boots are the "Ug"liest Thing in the World

2008-11-22T09:33:00.001-08:00

Good title, no?

There is a very alarming trend happening here in Alabama that the world needs to be aware of. First off, I must preface the UGG boots discussion with a brief note about Nike workout shorts. Since when is it OK to be in public in workout shorts when not working out? How lazy are you people?! They are everywhere, it's an epidemic. I thought that when winter arrived the Nike shorts would be tucked away at the bottom of a drawer but I was not anticipating the second disturbing trend of wearing these biking/legging things under them...how horrible! "What Not to Wear," we need you!

Having established these disturbing facts, I can now bring us to the heart of the matter...UGG boots. Not that UGG boots are not disturbing enough on their own, but now they are being worn in conjunction with the Nike workout shorts alone or, if it's really cold, with the freakin' leggings too! People, do you not have mirrors, or mothers, or best friends?! Apparently not. But if not, why do you all dress identically in ridiculous clothes? Stupidity is not an excuse, you are clearly taking cues from those dressed equally ridiculously around you and emulating them. WHY??? I CAN'T STAND IT!

When I'm out walking I count the number of UGG boots and other various boots with jeans/tights tucked in, it's a fun past time. Once in a five minute walk I got up to 32 which I was quite impressed with. I should give extra point for wearing them with the Nike shorts. Perhaps I will print out some sort of Fashion Police citation cards and hand them out to all offenders, I wonder how that would go over?

I would like to point out another disturbing aspect to this very disturbing trend...we live in Alabama you morons...your feet are going to get hot!!!!

More News From the World of I Take Myself WAY Too Seriously

2008-11-12T11:18:00.000-08:00

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have a new coffee table book out called Influence. They interviewed designers and other who have influences (obviously) the twin "fashion icons." A label I completely disagree with. Since when does looking like a homeless person in both dress and body weight make you a fashion icon, because your flannel shirt with a hole in it cost $10,000+? I think not.

They are apparently signing their $35 book at bookstores, not sure how far reaching this is, but they have implemented some amazingly retardiculous rules for their book signings. #1 You may not speak to them. They will not speak or answer questions or, presumably even say hello. #2 They will not lower themselves to signing any of their other ten trillion products or items of memorabilia you spent you hard earned money on, only Influence. #3 The twins will not have their picture taken. You heard it, the children from whom you bought a $35 dollar book to sit on your coffee table will not allow you to take their photograph. Here is my conclusion based on these delightful rules. These girls are complete brats who, as my title implies, think WAY too much of themselves. A little humility here girls? Guess what, I don't have unlimited money to squander on sunglasses that outweigh me by twenty or thirty pounds and I still dress better than you do! Additionally, I will autograph anything and whoever wants to take pictures of me because I'm so fabulous is welcomed and I might even say hello! I might even consider not unleashing my body guards on you if you look me in the eye. Are they related to a royal family somewhere that I am not aware of? Do we have to back out of the room with our heads bowed so as not to turn on backs on or make eye contact with their majesties?

Obey these rules, or else! Ungrateful brats!

The Creepiest Commercial of All Time

2008-11-09T12:07:00.000-08:00

OK, I'm going to go ahead and call this one, the creepiest commercial in the world in for Enzyte: Natural Male Enhancement. Their "holiday" commercial has "Bob," whom apparently lots of rumors are going around about, dressed as Santa Clause hocking natural male enhancement. As the line of randy women quickly grows waiting to sit in Santa Bob's lap, the announcer spouts the following, incredibly creepy, lines. "The gift that keeps on giving" (gross!) "chubby Santa" (literally) "sack full of pride" (ick!). I can not get on board with a commercial that gives child molesters ideas. What better job than to be a mall Santa at Christmas, use your Enzyte, and have lots of innocent children sit in your lap? What a great idea!

My Kind of Politician

2008-11-02T12:43:00.001-08:00

I ran across this quote from Rep. James Traficant (D-Ohio) he to directed to the House panel that found him guilty of nine ethics violations.

"I want you to disregard all the opposing counsel has said...I think they should be handcuffed, chained to a fence, and flogged...And if they lie again, I'm going to go over there and kick them in the crotch."

I LOVE this...say what you mean and mean what you say buddy!

I think I'm going to print this out on cards and when I want to kick someone in the crotch I will just hand them the card that explains everything so clearly and concisely. He's right, lying IS bad!

Thanks But No Thanks

2008-10-27T19:44:00.000-07:00

These pictures really speak for themselves..."Hmmm, whose support can I do without and whose support of me would be really embarrassing in that they are trying to influence peoples political choices? Pete Wentz would be one, Kim Kardashian another, and that indestructible cheerleader, she's the worst! Thanks "celebrities" for your support, but no thanks, really." - statement by Barak Obama .

Sorry indestructible cheerleader, I really like you, I'm just reporting what Obama said...

Stupid Things Lindsay Lohan Has Done This Week

2008-10-27T19:13:00.000-07:00

I thought if we broke this topic up in to weekly segments, it might be a bit more manageable. Don't want to write an entire novel for a single post.

Two particularly stupid things this week: #1., ...and I quote, "At some point, I want to adopt a kid - a child in need or a newborn from another country." Note to children in need and newborns in other countries...run, run as fast as you can. Hide, do not come out no matter what they promise you. If you are unable to run due to being a child in need or a newborn...crawl, crawl as fast as you can and hide. If an American with large sunglasses approaches, that is the time to take the cyanide pill, I've hidden one in each of your pacifier handles for emergencies. Idiocy #2, Lindsay Lohan is starting her own line of...wait for it...here it comes...leggings! Yes, leggings. My favorite pair has knee pads built in, literally. How appropriate is that? They cost $132.00...for leggings...with knee pads...designed by Lindsay Lohan. Another "gem" of a pair of leggings is metallic...that's right...metallic leggings... that cost $99.00...designed by Lindsay Lohan. If anyone knows the number to Hell, call and let me know if it's frozen over or not.

By the by, I will be launching my own line of scrunchies in the Spring. They will cost ten million dollars each. I am currently taking orders.

News from the world of I TAKE MYSELF WAY TOO SERIOUSLY!

2008-10-26T13:43:00.000-07:00

This has been in the works for months, Beyonce entering my list of the most moronic celebutards, currently including Paris Hilton and Tom Cruise, and now it's officially happened. I wasn't ready to pull the trigger when I found out she's really 75 years old and claims she's 27 (her birth certificate clearly states that she was born in 1974, not 1981 as she has been claiming since, well, I guess 1981.) Nor was it time when, after she married Jay-Z, she said, “people put too much emphasis on that. It’s just material and it’s just silly to me,” referring to an engagement ring. She is now sporting a $5 million, 18 carat diamond ring by the by. All of this is clear idiocy but she has just put the icing on her own cake of stupidity with her latest announcement that we are now to call her "Sasha Fierce." HA! I literally have no sarcastic comment to make on this because it is just TOO moronic to justify with a snarky remark.

By the way, I will only answer to Lakeisha Intense from now on. That's Ms. Intense to you!

No, No, No!!!!! SJP is the ONLY Carrie Bradshaw!!!

2008-10-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

Candace Bushnell, author of Sex and the City, is writing a prequel to the book and it's going to deal with Carrie's teenage years. YAY for that! I'm curious about it though, here are my title ideas: Sex and the Suburbs; Carrie Bradshaw: before every thing that defines her came in to her life and we are left with nothing but a hollow shell of a character; Dear God, It's Me, Carrie. Just a few ideas I thought I'd toss out there if you needed some inspiration Candace. As my second title suggests, I don't see how this is going to work minus Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha, Big and NYC. Is the book going to be based on of Carrie from the original book or from the six seasons of SJP playing Carrie? Guess we'll have to wait and see.

My huge objection comes in when I read that Candace Bushnell has said that Miley Cyrus would be "adorable" playing a teenaged Carrie. No, no, no!!! No, Hannah Montana can not play Carrie Bradshaw, that is the worst idea I've heard all day. In fact, no one can play the younger Carrie. SJP IS CARRIE BRADSHAW!!! Unless some technology is developed to take about 25 years off SJP for her to be the teenaged Carrie, it won't work, just will not work. I won't have it and I might be forced to add Candace Bushnell to my boycott list that now only includes Tom Cruise and Paris Hilton. Candace, that is not a list you want to be on, you'd be in v. bad company!

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

2008-10-22T10:12:00.000-07:00

I do want to say first of all that I did not write this but it is too funny not to post immediately! Although I have added a few "answers" of my own.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A:BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOE BIDEN: For the love of everything holy...are they going to make me debate the chicken? Note to self...don't bully the chicken, don't bully the chicken.

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

SARAH PALIN: In Alaska we call chickens Russian Polar Bears, don't ya know. Surely all you Joe-six-packs out there know that we're not talking about a road here, it's a bridge, a bridge to Russia, or no where as the liberal elite media likes to say.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. Then, this really is not about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We do not really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where is my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of crossing?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken will not realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he is guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: That chicken crossed the road to steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmers Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed I have not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That is why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. In addition, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out the abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like the other side. That chicken should not be crossing the road. It is as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day, we did not ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but also will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Katie Fforde Makes Me Happy

2008-10-21T19:26:00.000-07:00

For those of you not familiar with fabulous author extraordinaire Katie Fforde, let me illuminate you. Fforde is the best-selling British novelist who is not as popular in the US as I think she should be (and if I say it, right...). If ever you need a guaranteed make you happy light read, pick any of the zillions of books she has written (literally approx. 14 novels, most of which I've devoured), plop down on the couch in comfy stretchy pants and a cup of coffee in hand, and GO! I promise you won't be able to stop!

Fforde writes with a common formula in her books, but it never disappoints. Here's the basic plot line...somewhere in the British countryside lives a woman who, for whatever mishaps of circumstance, finds herself in, well, not the best situation. Enter a man who on first glance seems a rogue but, come to find out, he's really the answer to her problems, of course. Hilarity ensues. Please don't be put off by the Cindarellaishness of this v. short explanation...Fforde's women are strong, sassy, and can take care of themselves...they just happen to let men take part as well. If her heroins lived in the U.S. they would definitely be Southerners...the heros too for that matter. In Fforde's rural English countryside, I have found kindred spirits in her heroins. Kindred with both myself and Scarlett O'hara...what better complement to Fforde's writing could there be?

Some of my favorites: Highland Fling, Wild Designs, Stately Pursuits, Second Thyme Around

Victoria Beckham is a Man

2008-10-21T18:26:00.000-07:00

It's official...Victoria Beckham has literally turned herself into an eleven year old boy! There are several disturbing aspects to this News Flash. #1 Her clothes weigh more than she does...she's going to have to hire an assistant to start carrying her around because she won't be able to walk with the Louboutin's on. #2 Not that she didn't look like a prepubescent boy before, but this haircut just seals the deal. Apparently she and Katie Holmes, a.k.a. Tom's prisoner, are in a contest to see who can look more like a young child...sorry Katie, I think VB wins. #3 David Beckham is unquestioningly gorgeous but one has to wonder what kind of weird stuff he's in to if he is turned on by a "woman" (thing) that looks like this. You can't be a sexy soccer star and be married to this...it's nonsensical and, well, just gross. #4 Not only has VB transformed herself into the aforementioned eleven year old boy...he's also, apparently, a tranny! I hope I haven't offended any transsexuals out there. Don't worry trannys, you all look WAY better than this.

Molly McDonald Designs

2008-10-19T19:05:00.000-07:00

I wanted to post some of my favorite artwork from an upcoming artist, Molly McDonald. She works with lots of technological art things that I don't really understand but I do know that the results are fabulous! I do understand the photography and pen drawing...but that is the extent of my artistic repertoire...cameras and ball point pens! I leave the technical stuff to the professionals.

Her prints are currently available at http://ww w.mollyannmc.deviantart.com/

She also does custom work...oh, to have the money to patronize an artist...one day! Fingers crossed that a smart gallery will show her work and help get her name out there...she rocks!

Stupid Things "celebrities" Said This Week

2008-10-19T18:39:00.000-07:00

"I asked to leave public school. I was kind of bullied...Everyone signed a petition that said WE ALL HATE DEMI LOVATO." Demi Lovato (obviously).

Hey Demi, doesn't Miley Cyrus hate you too? If Hannah Montana hates you, and everyone at your school hates you, you might need to look inwards, it's looking like the chances are good that you're just not likable.

"I don't really want to be famous, and I'm kind of scared that might be happening." Michael Cera

OK, I don't know who Michael Cera is so, Michael, don't worry, you're not THAT famous! Here's a tip though, don't want to be famous? Try a different career (apparently he's an actor)! See, most people aren't famous so just refrain from acting, singing, or playing professional sports and you'll be fine, no need to be afraid, it will all be OK.

P.S. Oh, Cera is that dorky guy from Juno...interesting. This quote is so ironic considering that everyone knows who Ellen Page is. Oh wait, she really is famous!

Neutrogena Wants to be Clinique

2008-10-19T13:23:00.000-07:00

I have noticed in the last few months that Neutrogena, drug store brand extraordinaire, has been copying Clinique's print ads and their product packaging. Yes, I know Clinique is awesome, but shouldn't Neutrogena develop their own marketing campaign instead of parading as a cheaper version of Clinique? Neutrogena has even tricked the Indistructable Cheerleader herself to hock their "new" customized skincare. PLEASE! Clinique has been using those exact words since the 1960's. News flash Neutrogena, it's only NEW to you.

Peep-toe Shoes Hurt!

2008-10-17T16:22:00.000-07:00

Every time I wear a pair of peep-toe shoes, which I will say can be v. fabulous, I end up with one or more of my toes on the verge of being completely severed from the rest of my foot. So I started to wonder about the nature of peep- toe shoes. Are they inherently evil or is it possible to have a peep-toe shoe that I can wear for more than an hour without blood being involved? I don't have a simple answer to this question but I do have the convincing evidence that in my MANY years of wearing fabulous shoes...peep-toes seem to be my kryptonite. I have never found a pair that doesn't rub, scrape, pull, or blister my feet and, believe me, I've tried MANY times. I love the look of them but I'm becoming discouraged with the whole business. Will my toes have to be locked away in pumps forever?

Maybe my feet are just deformed...

Sara Claire & Esther..."Vintage Reimagined"

2008-10-16T21:39:00.000-07:00

Here's the inside scoop on a fabulous new fashion line that will be debuting Spring 2009...Sara Claire & Esther. Owners Aimee Wolk and Sara Jordan couple gorgeous materials and design with vintage and trend to create gorgeous pieces with a distinctly lady-like touch. The line features one of a kind pieces highlighted by vintage fabrics and trim and other vintage goodies like buttons. Um, yummy! Aimee and Sara met at Auburn University (Alabama fabulousness!) and have interned or worked in design, merchandising and/or marketing for awesome designers such as Donna Karan, Dara Lamb, the Swatch Group, Rebecca Taylor, Walter Baker, and Tibi. Anyone gaining experience working with Rebecca Taylor is OK by me!

Who is the target client for SC&E? Straight from the fabulous and beautiful horses mouth, "The Sara Claire & Esther brand inspires confidence in classy girls who grew up loving tea parties and playing dress up. Today this girl has grown into the lady who still loves dressing up and feeling beautiful. She adores pearls, lace, romance and getting recognized for her gorgeous attire. She appreciates fine quality and detail, and regularly updates her wardrobe with flirty and tasteful pieces. " Wow, I like the SC&E lady, she sounds like me!

The Spring 2009 collection was inspired by the owner's grandmother's experiences during the 1940's in the South (I'll say that's fabulous!). Pencil skirts, men's oxford shirts reimagined with feminine details, black and white with a touch of gold and the palest of greens appear throughout the collection. The line is SO delicious. I can't wait to see what's ahead for SC&E. Pieces will be available at boutiques beginning in Spring 2009. I'm sure I will follow with more specifics as the time approaches so we can all get out there and buy our favorite pieces ASAP. I already know my favorites for the upcoming season...the First Lady Dress and the Blockade Blouse, could those names be cuter?!

Yuuuum...Rinse-off Foaming Cleanser

2008-10-14T18:18:00.000-07:00

Please do not take the last post and this one and think that I have been brainwashed by Clinique. I have not (not that I know of anyway, but I guess that's the point). They just have some GREAT stuff. I'll get to some other brands later...promise.

There is nothing as satisfying to me as washing away a day's worth of make-up and grime with Clinique's Rinse-off Foaming Cleanser at night. It's creamy and foamy and delicious and it takes EVERYTHING off! But yet, it doesn't dry my skin...the perfect combination of everything a makeup remover should do. It's great for people with dry to oily skin. There is a gel cleanser that some people with oily skin, like mine, prefer for that squeaky-clean feeling, but that one makes my skin too dry afterwards. I don't want to literally be squeaking! A little goes a long way and it takes me forever to go through a tube of this stuff so don't worry about the cost, I promise it's worth it. Plus, if you get something from Clinique you don't like you can always take it back! OK, I'll get off my Clinique high horse now...to go wash my face!

Clinique Three Step...Got Glow?

2008-10-14T18:02:00.000-07:00

To steal a Clinique catch phrase...Got Glow? I DO! And it's all because of my beloved Clinique 3-step. Cleanse, exfoliate, moisturize = perfect (literally) skin.

You might be wondering if I've always been this excited about skin care and the general condition of my skin...NO! Long story, well, long. I didn't have a blemish until I was 18 then spent several years with mild acne, a blemish here and there but there was always something gross going on. Then I entered a doctoral program which quickly led to cystic acne...again, v. gross. I used every thing out there...over the counter treatments, Proactive, Dermatologist EVERYTHING, and it seemed like my skin was getting worse. Then I was on Accutane for six months. Yes, my skin was clear, but now my liver doesn't work (I don't know this for sure, that's mere speculation!). Perfect skin for right at a year then it came back...IT CAME BACK!!!

I thought, "I'll spend as much money as I can and surely that will keep these nasty blemishes away." Lancome, Murad, Mario Badescu...NOTHING. Then, after spending ridiculous amounts of money and seeing little if any results, I remembered Clinique 3-step. That's what people used in high school so I thought it was only for teenagers...WRONG! Since I was correctly skin typed by a Clinique Consultant and started using Liquid Facial Soap (oily), Clarifying Lotion (3), and Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel, my skin has been, after say, the first month, completely clear minue maybe one tiny blemish every few months. I couldn't believe it...I spent thousands of dollars on skin care that didn't work, destroyed my liver, and Clinique had been patiently waiting there for me the entire time...waiting to clear my skin! WOW am I good at making choices.

So, what have we learned from this? Expensive does not mean effective, daily exfoliation is a freakin' miracle, and you should all be using Clinique 3-step twice a day!

Psssssst...My Favorite Product in the World!

2008-10-13T21:07:00.000-07:00

Allow me to let you in on a secret that only myself and Ken Paves know (there might be a FEW others but this is questionable). Psssssst Instant Spray Shampoo is the greatest product ever invented. The wheel, sliced bread, they are NOTHING compared to this stuff. This angelic spray bottle allows me to go for a week without washing my hair in the shower. Before jumping to conclusions, let me tell you all the reasons why this is not gross and is, in fact, awesome.

First, it is a total pain to wash, dry and style your hair every day. It takes forever and I don't have time for it. When I was younger, maybe, but I have WAY too many responsibilities...places to go and people to see...to do it every day. Nevertheless, I am slightly obsessive about looking nice so the thought of not washing my hair initially grossed me out. But not with Psssssst!

Psssssst absorbs the oils in your hair while it refreshes it with a light scent leaving your hair looking just the way it did the day before when you weren't too lazy to wash it. I will admit that as the days go by the options of hair do's diminish proportionately with how much Psssssst is gunked up in it but the updo options are endless. I've taken to doing a small version of the Amy Crackhouse pouf with the rest of my hair pulled in to a low ponytail. It looks really nice and there are no greasies or other signs of non-washing.

I recently read in a magazine that you can also use loose face powder to absorb the oil in your hair in a pinch but considering that I pay $18.50 for my loose powder at a cosmetics counter and this stuff is $5.99 at the drug store, I think I will continue to invest in my Psssssst.

A second reason why this is not gross is that it IS actually good for your hair. Washing your hair every day strips it of natural oils that are moisturizing and nourishing to the hair, leaving it dry and lifeless. (Am I the new spokesperson for Psssssst yet?) Psssssst lets you keep the benefits without looking greasy...nothing wrong with that! Psssssst is also good for people with naturally dry hair and scalps. We don't want to dry out our hair any more than we have to, now do we? Psssssst away my friends!

What Would Your Last Wish Be?

2008-10-13T20:39:00.001-07:00

People magazine had the bright idea of asking celebretards if they were granted three wishes, what would their last wish be. Here are a sampling of the stimulating responses. Stephen Colbert said he would wish that America would make the right choice when voting for President...good answer. Blake Lively would want to have a hundred more wishes (giggle, giggle)...appropriate answer, although I might have gone with a thousand more or maybe half of the federal bailout money so then I wouldn't need wishes, I could buy whatever I wanted...including world peace, or, you know, whatever.

Here is where it gets interesting...People magazine asked Omar Epps and Taylor Momsen what they would wish for. Now, just to clarify, I'm not exactly sure who either of these two are. The names are familiar...maybe Gosssip Girl and an 80's sitcom? All I have confirmed however is that they are definitely handi-tards (it's from Weeds, don't get mad at me!) Omar's wish is that he won't have to pay taxes. Really Omar? That's your final wish? I'm dying to know what your first two were. Even though I'm not completely sure who you even are, I'm assuming if People is asking you a question you must have a decent amount of money. So you saying that while thousands of Americans are losing their homes, middle class families can't afford food or gasoline for their cars, the poor are getting poorer and the rich are getting richer, hundreds of thousands in Africa risk the threat of murder and starvation every day, etc., etc., you don't want to have to pay taxes on your "earnings" to help out someone else? Good answer, moron! You need to go for a long drive in your Escalade/Hummer/18-wheeler and think about what you said...MORON!

And for you Taylor Momsen...I think you are still a teenager so your brain isn't fully developed (apparently). What Taylor wishes for, more than anything else on Earth, is...

MORE TIME AT THE BEACH because you don't have to style your hair while you're at the beach. I kid you not...that's her wish and her reasoning behind it!

Couldn't she at least invite some orphans to the beach with her? Buy them a snow cone? Maybe she could buy a stretch of beach, build small one room houses with running water and electricity and move half of Rawanda to the beach...she still wouldn't have to style her hair! Other people who don't care if her hair is styled and I'm sure would love to share the beach with her are the families of murder victims, rape victims, battered women, the homeless, drug addicts, the mentally ill, those nine kids whose Dad abandoned them at the hospital last week, millions of people who don't have water or food available every day, etc., etc.

People always have a fit when a celebretard supports a political candidate or shares their opinion on political or humanitarian issues...why isn't the opposite true? Why don't we get on their cases when they display a total lack of social consciousness, or for that matter, brain activity in general? I think these are the celebrities we should be giving a hard time to. Madonna...you go out and adopt those African babies. George...you support your Democratic candidates. More power to you both! Thank you, on behalf of all Americans, for at least having a brain.

Post Script: after looking for pictures to accompany this tirade, I discovered who these two morons are, sort of. Apparently Omar Epps is that cute doctor on House. I guess he just plays a guy with a brain on TV. And he wears women's blouses (see picture). And guess who Taylor Momsen is/was...Cindy Lu Who in The Grinch. Wow, did she grow up stupid. At least she kept her wardrobe from The Grinch (see picture)..."Look, it still fits!"

Shoe News!

2008-10-13T17:06:00.000-07:00

Sigerson Morrison is going to have a line of shoes at Target from October 12-December 26. The choices are FABULOUS! These are a preview...YUMMY!

Here is why I love Designers for Target and why you should too. Sigerson Morrison's "real" shoes run from around $250 to way over a thousand dollars. I don't have $250 to spend on shoes right now so, obviously, out of luck there. Morrison's lines have trendy pieces mixed with classic ones, I'm hoping that is what the Target collection will offer too. I'll update as I critique the collection.

Even though I'm sure these shoes will be uncomfortable and last only a few months (that seems to be the running theme of shoes bought at Target) they are cheap enough that I won't have to mortgage my house or sell prized belongings on Ebay for repentance that I bought them then proceeded to tear them up. These babies are only $29.99-$39.99, how awesome and ridiculous is that?!

Thank you Target. Thank you for not being Wal-mart but, most importantly, thank you for conning big name designers to make clothes, shoes, and makeup for you and selling them to me.

Sharon Stone's Son Smells and She's Not Taking It Anymore!

2008-10-12T20:54:00.000-07:00

This is a GOOD one...according to People magazine, Sharon Stones ex-husband has alleged in court papers that she suggested that they inject BOTOX into their small child's feet because they smelled so badly.

#1. Sharon Stone is crazy. We don't inject Botox unless it is completely voluntary and/or required for a movie role and/or we are Barbara Walters.

#2. If his feet stink that bad, maybe we should stop fighting over custody of the child and get him to a doctor, pronto...there clearly are more serious issues going on with this child here than who he should live with...HIS FEET STINK. Geez, deal with the REAL problem here Sharon Stone.

#3. Maybe Sharon Stone should just inject Botox into her nose then she wouldn't have to smell her son's disgusting feet. She can schedule this for after she drops him off at his therapy session. Scheduling in this manner should give her lots of options.

Halloween Costumes???

2008-10-12T20:26:00.000-07:00

Why is it that, for whatever reason, Halloween seems to make perfectly respectable women dress like prostitutes? There really are no Halloween costumes for sale for women that aren't too risque for Playboy! Why is it OK to dress in lingerie in public, look like a total moron, and suffer no repercussions? I don't understand!!!

I even found some costumes for "Puppy and Me" where you can dress your dog up like a prostitute too. That is not OK...it's just not.

It's already ridiculous when Bridget from The Girls Next Door (I know I'm developing a theme here) dresses up in little outfits for EVERYTHING (House Bunny, anyone?) but, let's face it, most people don't have her body or live in the Playboy mansion...the only two things that I can think of that would make it socially acceptable to wear these "costumes."

Why can't we just eat candy and worship demons like they did in the good old days? My apologies to Marie Antoinette, School Girls, and Candy Stripers everywhere.