More News From the World of I Take Myself WAY Too Seriously

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen have a new coffee table book out called Influence. They interviewed designers and other who have influences (obviously) the twin "fashion icons." A label I completely disagree with. Since when does looking like a homeless person in both dress and body weight make you a fashion icon, because your flannel shirt with a hole in it cost $10,000+? I think not.

They are apparently signing their $35 book at bookstores, not sure how far reaching this is, but they have implemented some amazingly retardiculous rules for their book signings. #1 You may not speak to them. They will not speak or answer questions or, presumably even say hello. #2 They will not lower themselves to signing any of their other ten trillion products or items of memorabilia you spent you hard earned money on, only Influence. #3 The twins will not have their picture taken. You heard it, the children from whom you bought a $35 dollar book to sit on your coffee table will not allow you to take their photograph. Here is my conclusion based on these delightful rules. These girls are complete brats who, as my title implies, think WAY too much of themselves. A little humility here girls? Guess what, I don't have unlimited money to squander on sunglasses that outweigh me by twenty or thirty pounds and I still dress better than you do! Additionally, I will autograph anything and whoever wants to take pictures of me because I'm so fabulous is welcomed and I might even say hello! I might even consider not unleashing my body guards on you if you look me in the eye. Are they related to a royal family somewhere that I am not aware of? Do we have to back out of the room with our heads bowed so as not to turn on backs on or make eye contact with their majesties?

Obey these rules, or else! Ungrateful brats!