Neutrogena Wants to be Clinique

I have noticed in the last few months that Neutrogena, drug store brand extraordinaire, has been copying Clinique's print ads and their product packaging. Yes, I know Clinique is awesome, but shouldn't Neutrogena develop their own marketing campaign instead of parading as a cheaper version of Clinique? Neutrogena has even tricked the Indistructable Cheerleader herself to hock their "new" customized skincare. PLEASE! Clinique has been using those exact words since the 1960's. News flash Neutrogena, it's only NEW to you.

Peep-toe Shoes Hurt!

Every time I wear a pair of peep-toe shoes, which I will say can be v. fabulous, I end up with one or more of my toes on the verge of being completely severed from the rest of my foot. So I started to wonder about the nature of peep- toe shoes. Are they inherently evil or is it possible to have a peep-toe shoe that I can wear for more than an hour without blood being involved? I don't have a simple answer to this question but I do have the convincing evidence that in my MANY years of wearing fabulous shoes...peep-toes seem to be my kryptonite. I have never found a pair that doesn't rub, scrape, pull, or blister my feet and, believe me, I've tried MANY times. I love the look of them but I'm becoming discouraged with the whole business. Will my toes have to be locked away in pumps forever?

Maybe my feet are just deformed...

Sara Claire & Esther..."Vintage Reimagined"

Here's the inside scoop on a fabulous new fashion line that will be debuting Spring 2009...Sara Claire & Esther. Owners Aimee Wolk and Sara Jordan couple gorgeous materials and design with vintage and trend to create gorgeous pieces with a distinctly lady-like touch. The line features one of a kind pieces highlighted by vintage fabrics and trim and other vintage goodies like buttons. Um, yummy! Aimee and Sara met at Auburn University (Alabama fabulousness!) and have interned or worked in design, merchandising and/or marketing for awesome designers such as Donna Karan, Dara Lamb, the Swatch Group, Rebecca Taylor, Walter Baker, and Tibi. Anyone gaining experience working with Rebecca Taylor is OK by me!

Who is the target client for SC&E? Straight from the fabulous and beautiful horses mouth, "The Sara Claire & Esther brand inspires confidence in classy girls who grew up loving tea parties and playing dress up. Today this girl has grown into the lady who still loves dressing up and feeling beautiful. She adores pearls, lace, romance and getting recognized for her gorgeous attire. She appreciates fine quality and detail, and regularly updates her wardrobe with flirty and tasteful pieces. " Wow, I like the SC&E lady, she sounds like me!

The Spring 2009 collection was inspired by the owner's grandmother's experiences during the 1940's in the South (I'll say that's fabulous!). Pencil skirts, men's oxford shirts reimagined with feminine details, black and white with a touch of gold and the palest of greens appear throughout the collection. The line is SO delicious. I can't wait to see what's ahead for SC&E. Pieces will be available at boutiques beginning in Spring 2009. I'm sure I will follow with more specifics as the time approaches so we can all get out there and buy our favorite pieces ASAP. I already know my favorites for the upcoming season...the First Lady Dress and the Blockade Blouse, could those names be cuter?!

Yuuuum...Rinse-off Foaming Cleanser

Please do not take the last post and this one and think that I have been brainwashed by Clinique. I have not (not that I know of anyway, but I guess that's the point). They just have some GREAT stuff. I'll get to some other brands later...promise.

There is nothing as satisfying to me as washing away a day's worth of make-up and grime with Clinique's Rinse-off Foaming Cleanser at night. It's creamy and foamy and delicious and it takes EVERYTHING off! But yet, it doesn't dry my skin...the perfect combination of everything a makeup remover should do. It's great for people with dry to oily skin. There is a gel cleanser that some people with oily skin, like mine, prefer for that squeaky-clean feeling, but that one makes my skin too dry afterwards. I don't want to literally be squeaking! A little goes a long way and it takes me forever to go through a tube of this stuff so don't worry about the cost, I promise it's worth it. Plus, if you get something from Clinique you don't like you can always take it back! OK, I'll get off my Clinique high horse now...to go wash my face!

Clinique Three Step...Got Glow?

To steal a Clinique catch phrase...Got Glow? I DO! And it's all because of my beloved Clinique 3-step. Cleanse, exfoliate, moisturize = perfect (literally) skin.

You might be wondering if I've always been this excited about skin care and the general condition of my skin...NO! Long story, well, long. I didn't have a blemish until I was 18 then spent several years with mild acne, a blemish here and there but there was always something gross going on. Then I entered a doctoral program which quickly led to cystic acne...again, v. gross. I used every thing out there...over the counter treatments, Proactive, Dermatologist EVERYTHING, and it seemed like my skin was getting worse. Then I was on Accutane for six months. Yes, my skin was clear, but now my liver doesn't work (I don't know this for sure, that's mere speculation!). Perfect skin for right at a year then it came back...IT CAME BACK!!!

I thought, "I'll spend as much money as I can and surely that will keep these nasty blemishes away." Lancome, Murad, Mario Badescu...NOTHING. Then, after spending ridiculous amounts of money and seeing little if any results, I remembered Clinique 3-step. That's what people used in high school so I thought it was only for teenagers...WRONG! Since I was correctly skin typed by a Clinique Consultant and started using Liquid Facial Soap (oily), Clarifying Lotion (3), and Dramatically Different Moisturizing Gel, my skin has been, after say, the first month, completely clear minue maybe one tiny blemish every few months. I couldn't believe it...I spent thousands of dollars on skin care that didn't work, destroyed my liver, and Clinique had been patiently waiting there for me the entire time...waiting to clear my skin! WOW am I good at making choices.

So, what have we learned from this? Expensive does not mean effective, daily exfoliation is a freakin' miracle, and you should all be using Clinique 3-step twice a day!

Psssssst...My Favorite Product in the World!

Allow me to let you in on a secret that only myself and Ken Paves know (there might be a FEW others but this is questionable). Psssssst Instant Spray Shampoo is the greatest product ever invented. The wheel, sliced bread, they are NOTHING compared to this stuff. This angelic spray bottle allows me to go for a week without washing my hair in the shower. Before jumping to conclusions, let me tell you all the reasons why this is not gross and is, in fact, awesome.

First, it is a total pain to wash, dry and style your hair every day. It takes forever and I don't have time for it. When I was younger, maybe, but I have WAY too many responsibilities...places to go and people to see...to do it every day. Nevertheless, I am slightly obsessive about looking nice so the thought of not washing my hair initially grossed me out. But not with Psssssst!

Psssssst absorbs the oils in your hair while it refreshes it with a light scent leaving your hair looking just the way it did the day before when you weren't too lazy to wash it. I will admit that as the days go by the options of hair do's diminish proportionately with how much Psssssst is gunked up in it but the updo options are endless. I've taken to doing a small version of the Amy Crackhouse pouf with the rest of my hair pulled in to a low ponytail. It looks really nice and there are no greasies or other signs of non-washing.

I recently read in a magazine that you can also use loose face powder to absorb the oil in your hair in a pinch but considering that I pay $18.50 for my loose powder at a cosmetics counter and this stuff is $5.99 at the drug store, I think I will continue to invest in my Psssssst.

A second reason why this is not gross is that it IS actually good for your hair. Washing your hair every day strips it of natural oils that are moisturizing and nourishing to the hair, leaving it dry and lifeless. (Am I the new spokesperson for Psssssst yet?) Psssssst lets you keep the benefits without looking greasy...nothing wrong with that! Psssssst is also good for people with naturally dry hair and scalps. We don't want to dry out our hair any more than we have to, now do we? Psssssst away my friends!

What Would Your Last Wish Be?

People magazine had the bright idea of asking celebretards if they were granted three wishes, what would their last wish be. Here are a sampling of the stimulating responses. Stephen Colbert said he would wish that America would make the right choice when voting for President...good answer. Blake Lively would want to have a hundred more wishes (giggle, giggle)...appropriate answer, although I might have gone with a thousand more or maybe half of the federal bailout money so then I wouldn't need wishes, I could buy whatever I wanted...including world peace, or, you know, whatever.

Here is where it gets interesting...People magazine asked Omar Epps and Taylor Momsen what they would wish for. Now, just to clarify, I'm not exactly sure who either of these two are. The names are familiar...maybe Gosssip Girl and an 80's sitcom? All I have confirmed however is that they are definitely handi-tards (it's from Weeds, don't get mad at me!) Omar's wish is that he won't have to pay taxes. Really Omar? That's your final wish? I'm dying to know what your first two were. Even though I'm not completely sure who you even are, I'm assuming if People is asking you a question you must have a decent amount of money. So you saying that while thousands of Americans are losing their homes, middle class families can't afford food or gasoline for their cars, the poor are getting poorer and the rich are getting richer, hundreds of thousands in Africa risk the threat of murder and starvation every day, etc., etc., you don't want to have to pay taxes on your "earnings" to help out someone else? Good answer, moron! You need to go for a long drive in your Escalade/Hummer/18-wheeler and think about what you said...MORON!

And for you Taylor Momsen...I think you are still a teenager so your brain isn't fully developed (apparently). What Taylor wishes for, more than anything else on Earth, is...

MORE TIME AT THE BEACH because you don't have to style your hair while you're at the beach. I kid you not...that's her wish and her reasoning behind it!

Couldn't she at least invite some orphans to the beach with her? Buy them a snow cone? Maybe she could buy a stretch of beach, build small one room houses with running water and electricity and move half of Rawanda to the beach...she still wouldn't have to style her hair! Other people who don't care if her hair is styled and I'm sure would love to share the beach with her are the families of murder victims, rape victims, battered women, the homeless, drug addicts, the mentally ill, those nine kids whose Dad abandoned them at the hospital last week, millions of people who don't have water or food available every day, etc., etc.

People always have a fit when a celebretard supports a political candidate or shares their opinion on political or humanitarian issues...why isn't the opposite true? Why don't we get on their cases when they display a total lack of social consciousness, or for that matter, brain activity in general? I think these are the celebrities we should be giving a hard time to. Madonna...you go out and adopt those African babies. George...you support your Democratic candidates. More power to you both! Thank you, on behalf of all Americans, for at least having a brain.

Post Script: after looking for pictures to accompany this tirade, I discovered who these two morons are, sort of. Apparently Omar Epps is that cute doctor on House. I guess he just plays a guy with a brain on TV. And he wears women's blouses (see picture). And guess who Taylor Momsen is/was...Cindy Lu Who in The Grinch. Wow, did she grow up stupid. At least she kept her wardrobe from The Grinch (see picture)..."Look, it still fits!"